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" I'm always so amazed by which performances work really, really well and which ones don't. But I think it's just mostly, 'She's Out Of My League,' so many people saw that movie on DVD and on the plane. Just millions of people saw that movie. That's the reason I'm somewhat famous. "

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" I don't believe in alcohol. It's a sort of a medicinal necessity for the human condition, none of that stuff. I'm not a gambling man. "

T. J. Miller

Human

Alcohol

Believe

" Listen to my voice - I sound like I'm permanently congested. "

" My face is oblong. But the best grooming is confidence. "

" I'm a Nietzschean scholar. I've read an immense amount about nihilism and existentialism. "

" Slowly but surely, I went through different phases of fame, and each rises you further into isolation and alienation. "

" We're not a nation divided: we're a nation broken, and anything broken can be fixed. "

" I try to be an ethical, moral person and a nice person, and I like to have that reflected in my comedy. I'm not a mean comedian, and I don't think that my comedy is mean. I think that for the most part, it's more focused on the diversity that we all handle and try to provide a distraction from the disaster of modern living. "

" You just put yourself into your work, and you can do anything you want, depending on how hard you want to work for it. "

" I was the Head Boy of East High School in 1999. I represent 303 - the area code, not the band - Mile High, until I die. I'm 31, a comedian; I juggle, but I don't glove it. I think waxed mustaches run a very thin line between hipster and 1800s barkeep. "

" There is no place for a person like me in a world that only takes itself seriously. Satire is so necessary but fairly ineffective. "

" I don't prepare for anything very well. I am not a good actor. I don't read scripts. "

" Comedy gives you a shot of euphoria that distracts you from everything that's awful. "

" I wouldn't want to be Superman. Batman would be cool. But the one I've always wanted to play is the Joker. There is a maniacal and dangerous side to me. "

T. J. Miller

Cool

Dangerous

" By the very nature of satire or parody, you have to love and respect your target and respect it enough to understand every aspect of it, so you can more effectively make fun of it. "

" I love mispronunciations. I love when people mispronounce things. "

" I laugh at absurdity hardest, then stories, then observations, then bearded men on roller skates. "

" To become the best comedian, I must be well-rounded. "

" I have perfectly symmetrical ankles. "

" I like hip-hop, but I don't like concerts. There's, like, sweat on people's backs. "

" Funny is as funny does, and funny puts on a walrus mask and slowly gyrates in a mall food court. I laugh at absurdity hardest, then stories, then observations, then bearded men on roller skates. "

" It doesn't matter to me if I'm in love with my performance, so I watch all of my performances to understand and learn from them and figure out what's working and what's not. And I see the movies that I'm in in the theater a lot. "

" Stuff that I write isn't as similar to the stuff that I'm in, but I don't really care. I just do comedy. "

" I don't know how much the economy has changed since Jonathan Swift's 'A Modest Proposal.' "

" Hosting is a thankless job. "

" When you get into a car, and there's trash, or it's dirty, or one of the hubcaps is off, you're like, 'Come on, dude.' Every woman likes the confidence and self-respect that says, 'I get oil changes. I look after my vehicle.' That's what I recommend: Act like you don't care, but take care of your body. "

" If you're a psychologist, you can instrumentally change peoples lives for the better. But you can only do that for about 300 people to maybe a thousand people - if you're really prolific and you're working really hard. "

" To be honest, I would never have imagined myself acting on a sitcom that I didn't write. "

" I drink a fair amount of ramen noodles. "

" Life is hard. Not great. Kind of tragic. "

" Mucinex were like, 'Would you like to be the Mucinex man? You sound like you're sick right now'. In each spot, they give me a little bit of room to do something strange. And in a world of fractured mediums, where there is no zeitgeist, and you get your comedy from your phone, it's all content. "

T. J. Miller

Phone

Man