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" We're not a nation divided: we're a nation broken, and anything broken can be fixed. "

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" I don't believe in alcohol. It's a sort of a medicinal necessity for the human condition, none of that stuff. I'm not a gambling man. "

" To be honest, I would never have imagined myself acting on a sitcom that I didn't write. "

" Effective satire has to be almost identical to the subject that it is skewering. "

" I try to be an ethical, moral person and a nice person, and I like to have that reflected in my comedy. I'm not a mean comedian, and I don't think that my comedy is mean. I think that for the most part, it's more focused on the diversity that we all handle and try to provide a distraction from the disaster of modern living. "

" I drink a fair amount of ramen noodles. "

" Most things I get hired on, I get hired because I improvise something funny, or they just think I look weird. "

" There's nothing I would love more than to host an awards show where I'm nominated for an award - that is so funny to me. "

" I'm a stand-up. I'm never worried about getting my next role. That's never distressing to me. "

" I love writing but not crazy meticulous/prepared enough to be a director. I'd work as a gaffer on something. "

" Mike Judge is my Jonathan Swift, and I say that because I don't know any other satirists. But the problem with satire is that it's so easily misinterpreted. "

" I know about the tech industry in that I follow what apps are hot and software development. I know my way around different browsers. I know how to restart a computer. "

" I love Denver. "

" To become the best comedian, I must be well-rounded. "

" It's much better to wreak havoc on a show and be a maniac than promote myself. Plugs and anecdotes aren't really in line with my beliefs. Besides, if someone sees me on a morning show and thinks, 'That's not funny; this guy is crazy,' then I don't want them to come to the show anyway. "

" It's always fun to agree to be in a movie when you have no idea what it's actually going to be! "

" I consider myself a fairly ethical individual while I do have a lot of dichotomies within me. We're all victims of our own hypocrisy at times. "

" I actually prefer Twitter as a medium, and I also got into Periscope for a second, but I'm still trying to figure out what to do with it. I can't figure out if the only important thing about it is the live broadcast, or if it's an interesting kind of way to log what you do. "

" I always like to have a buffer between me and journalism in general. Not just a reporter, but journalism. "

" I acted in high school and studied at the British American Drama Academy in Oxford for one summer. I minored in theater, and I was always acting growing up and stuff, but really, I was just more interested in the comedy of it all. So for me, it's always comedy, and then acting is just one medium of comedy. "

" You just put yourself into your work, and you can do anything you want, depending on how hard you want to work for it. "

" Hosting is a thankless job. "

" Everybody asks me what it was like to be in my underwear for my network television debut. "

" It is good to connect to someone who reminds you that you have some real authenticity. "

" I don't know that I would host the Golden Globes or the Emmys because I don't think they have the appreciation for irreverence that the Critics Choice does. "

" I do comedy to give people an ephemeral escape from the tragedy that permeates everyday life. "

" Stuff that I write isn't as similar to the stuff that I'm in, but I don't really care. I just do comedy. "

" We try and reflect that there's a lot of optimism, there's a lot of positive things that are happening in 'Silicon Valley'. "

" Slowly but surely, I went through different phases of fame, and each rises you further into isolation and alienation. "

" I was the Head Boy of East High School in 1999. I represent 303 - the area code, not the band - Mile High, until I die. I'm 31, a comedian; I juggle, but I don't glove it. I think waxed mustaches run a very thin line between hipster and 1800s barkeep. "

" Always remember: My general theme is 'There is no message.' There never has been. Stop trying to find the message or the meaning in everything. That's. My. Theme. "