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" I am not a person who yells at all, but I realized that I have always felt so good after doing the Tarzan yell, after doing Charo, or screaming as Eunice. "

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" As far as sitcoms go, I thought Jenna Elfman in 'Dharma and Greg' was a wonderful physical comedienne who had great timing. "

" It costs a lot to sue a magazine, and it's too bad that we don't have a system where the losing team has to pay the winning team's lawyers. "

" I think the reason I was successful is that I was never cynical. "

" Giving birth is like taking your lower lip and forcing it over your head. "

" Because of YouTube, I'm getting fan mail from 10-year-olds and teenagers and college kids. "

" I think the hardest thing to do in the world, show-business-wise, is write comedy. "

" My preference is for people who can do sketch comedy or situational comedy, where it's not a joke, but it's telling a story. "

" But I didn't ask to have somebody nose around in my private life. I didn't even ask to be famous. All I asked was to be able to earn a living making people laugh. "

" I do think there are some great female comics: Tina Fey, Amy Poehler, Kristen Wiig, Maya Rudolph. They're the whole ball of wax. "

" I was raised going to the movies with my grandmother as a kid. And then I'd come home, and my best friend and I would act out the films that we saw. "

" I'm really not that funny in real life! But I am the best audience one could find. I love to laugh. "

" I'm not a person who likes to confront. "

" I was very entertained by Betty Grable and Judy Garland. "

" My grandmother and I saw an average of eight movies a week, double features, second run. "

" It's not a bad thing to be able to do many things onstage. If you're an entertainer, you should be able to entertain. I'm proud to say that I'm not a one-trick pony. "

" We all get where we're going by circuitous journeys, and some of the setbacks are warranted. "

" What I like to write about is stuff I know. I don't think I could write a novel. I don't think I have it in me to come up with those kinds of characters. "

" When you have a dream, you've got to grab it and never let go. "

" Only I can change my life. No one can do it for me. "

" I love the writing. I love the idea of typing and seeing it on the computer and printing it out myself and, you know, moving sentences around. I like that. "

" I'm so happy with what has happened in my life. "

" Kristin Wiig I think is brilliant. "

" Because nobody goes through life without a scar. "

" I wanted to be on Broadway, but in musical comedy. "

" If I go to a party, I'm not one to be the funniest person in the room at all. "

" Funny is funny. I dare anyone to look at Tim Conway and Harvey Korman doing the dentist sketch, which is more than 40 years old, and not scream with laughter. "

" I was once asked to do my Tarzan yell at Bergdorf Goodman, and a guard burst in with a gun! Now I only do it under controlled circumstances. "

" Originally, I came from Texas, and we lived on - I guess you'd call it welfare, what we called relief. "

" I have a great memory. "

" I had it in my contract with CBS, a very weird clause that was never written before and certainly not since, that if I wanted to do a variety show within the first five years of the contract, CBS would have to put it on for 30 shows. "