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" My grandmother and I saw an average of eight movies a week, double features, second run. "

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" Edgy is fine - I'm not a prude by any stretch of the imagination - but what's wrong with a good ol' belly laugh? I miss that. "

" My interesting diet tips are eat early and don't nosh between meals. I mean, I can pack it away. "

" It's also selfish because it makes you feel good when you help others. I've been helped by acts of kindness from strangers. That's why we're here, after all, to help others. "

" Words, once they are printed, have a life of their own. "

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" I love to write. I have always loved writing. That was my first love. "

" When I went to New York to try and make it, I never thought it wouldn't happen. "

" My childhood was rough, we were poor and my parents were alcoholics, but nobody was mean. I knew I was loved. We were on welfare, but I never felt abandoned or unloved. "

" I never regretted turning down anything, I never regretted losing a job because I always felt something else was out there. "

" I love the writing. I love the idea of typing and seeing it on the computer and printing it out myself and, you know, moving sentences around. I like that. "

" I'm hooked on Glenn Close in 'Damages.' "

" I'm really not that funny in real life! But I am the best audience one could find. I love to laugh. "

" I had it in my contract with CBS, a very weird clause that was never written before and certainly not since, that if I wanted to do a variety show within the first five years of the contract, CBS would have to put it on for 30 shows. "

" Because nobody goes through life without a scar. "

" I've always been optimistic. And I have a feeling that it happened because of going to all those movies with my grandmother in the '40s because there was no cynicism. "

" I have a great memory. "

" I think the hardest thing to do in the world, show-business-wise, is write comedy. "

" When I was in college at UCLA, I took a playwriting course. I was all set to be a writer. But I had to take this acting class as a theater arts major. I had to do this scene in a one-act comedy. I just said this line, and then... this laugh happened. I thought, 'Whoa. This is a really good feeling. What have I been missing?' "

" You know, one wonderful thing that came out of my Enquirer experience is that, in my case, it was ruled tabloids are magazines. Which means they didn't have the protection that a newspaper has. "

" In '57, I got a job at the Blue Angel nightclub, and a gentleman named Ken Welch wrote all my material for me. I lived at a place called the Rehearsal Club that was actually the basis for a play called Stage Door. "

" Kristin Wiig I think is brilliant. "

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" I have an iPhone, and I can text, and I can use the phone, and I can even take pictures with it. "

" When I was starting out in this business, that was the norm. You did it all. You looked around, and entertainers could dance, sing, play the piano, act, make you laugh. "

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" On the good days, my mother would haul out the ukulele and we'd sit around the kitchen table - it was a cardboard table with a linoleum top - and sing. "