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" I have a great memory. "
Carol Burnett
Memory
Great
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" When I was in college at UCLA, I took a playwriting course. I was all set to be a writer. But I had to take this acting class as a theater arts major. I had to do this scene in a one-act comedy. I just said this line, and then... this laugh happened. I thought, 'Whoa. This is a really good feeling. What have I been missing?' "
Carol Burnett
Laugh
Thought
College
" I have an iPhone, and I can text, and I can use the phone, and I can even take pictures with it. "
Carol Burnett
Take
Pictures
Phone
" I wish my mother had left me something about how she felt growing up. I wish my grandmother had done the same. I wanted my girls to know me. "
Carol Burnett
Growing Up
Mother
Wish
" I love to write. I have always loved writing. That was my first love. "
Carol Burnett
Love
Writing
Loved
" If I go to a party, I'm not one to be the funniest person in the room at all. "
Carol Burnett
Room
Funniest
Go
" I am not a joke-teller. Stand-up, I couldn't do. "
Carol Burnett
Am
I Am
Stand-Up
" I wanted to be on Broadway, but in musical comedy. "
Carol Burnett
Comedy
Broadway
Wanted
" I'm hooked on Glenn Close in 'Damages.' "
Carol Burnett
Glenn Close
Hooked
Damages
" My mother was very funny. My dad had a great sense of humor. My grandmother, too. "
Carol Burnett
Grandmother
Mother
Humor
" I loved the Kennedy Center Honors because you just sit there, smile, wave, and cry. "
Carol Burnett
Sit
Smile
Wave
" What I like to write about is stuff I know. I don't think I could write a novel. I don't think I have it in me to come up with those kinds of characters. "
Carol Burnett
Think
Write
Up
" I think the reason I was successful is that I was never cynical. "
Carol Burnett
Reason
Think
Never
" I'm into 'House of Cards.' 'Breaking Bad' - my God, did I binge on that! "
Carol Burnett
Did
Bad
Breaking
" Because nobody goes through life without a scar. "
Carol Burnett
Life
Because
Without
" I was raised going to the movies with my grandmother as a kid. And then I'd come home, and my best friend and I would act out the films that we saw. "
Carol Burnett
Home
Best
Movies
" You have to go through the falling down in order to learn to walk. It helps to know that you can survive it. That's an education in itself. "
Carol Burnett
You
Walk
Know
" It all happened the way it was supposed to. I wouldn't change anything. I had such a great run. "
Carol Burnett
Change
Great
Had
" But I didn't ask to have somebody nose around in my private life. I didn't even ask to be famous. All I asked was to be able to earn a living making people laugh. "
Carol Burnett
Living
People
Life
" I'm not always optimistic. You wouldn't have all cylinders cooking if you were always like Mary Poppins. "
Carol Burnett
Optimistic
Always
Cooking
" When I was starting out in this business, that was the norm. You did it all. You looked around, and entertainers could dance, sing, play the piano, act, make you laugh. "
Carol Burnett
Play
Laugh
Business
" It's also selfish because it makes you feel good when you help others. I've been helped by acts of kindness from strangers. That's why we're here, after all, to help others. "
Carol Burnett
Kindness
Selfish
Help Others
" I love audiences. "
Carol Burnett
Audiences
I Love
Love
" It's not a bad thing to be able to do many things onstage. If you're an entertainer, you should be able to entertain. I'm proud to say that I'm not a one-trick pony. "
Carol Burnett
You
Things
Say
" Comedy is tragedy - plus time. "
Carol Burnett
Comedy
Tragedy
Plus
" It's almost impossible to be funnier than the people in Washington. "
Carol Burnett
Washington
Almost
Impossible
" I love 'Modern Family.' And I love 'Glee' - the singing, the music - Jane Lynch just kills me. "
Carol Burnett
Singing
Family
Love
" You have to really want it, and don't take it personally if you don't get a job. Because sometimes you're not the type. And sometimes it's somebody else's turn. "
Carol Burnett
Turn
Sometimes
Want
" My favourite comedian, of course, is Tim Conway. He has a way about him - being that belly-laugh kind of funny, and he has the improvisational skills, too. I've never seen anybody better. "
Carol Burnett
Way
Never
Better
" I had a good loud voice and I wasn't afraid to be goofy or zany. "
Carol Burnett
Voice
Had
Good
" My favorite is doing the television show, as a variety show, every week. If the show wasn't that great one week, we could always come back and apologize, you know? "
Carol Burnett
Doing
You
Week