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" I'm fat, and I support fat celebrities, like Oprah. "

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" I used to be an engineer, and I was the worst engineer in the United States of America. That's why I became a comic. "

" You men make up these rules, and now you get mad because I'm telling you what a real woman wants. She wants you to treat her like a lady if you want her to sit up there and put on all the lingerie! "

" Being a former engineer, you learn to always go back, study yourself, see what you could've done differently, see what you could've said. "

" Mom was a nurse's aide. She worked in various hospitals. She took care of us that way, and we ate government cheese. I survived. "

" Men don't know how to act like men sometimes. Take the trash out. Open up the door. Rub my feet. I mean, it's a two-way street! "

" Being a female comic and getting a Comedy Central special is an honor because not a lot of women get that. "

" I've been studying myself because I always want to improve. "

" Life is funny, and that's why I celebrate it in my shows. "

" I just do jokes about real situations, pure observation. "

" Black women know that we've got to take care of it - so we take care of it. It's just embedded in us. "

" I was a latchkey kid, so when I saw the 'Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous,' that showed me that there was a different type of lifestyle out there. I was curious about it and amazed about it. "

" As a stand-up comic, you have to do the road. "

" I will never say never, but I can tell you right now - I am perfectly happy with being who I am. I just - I really - I'm an entertainer, and the thing that I'd decided to work on was my career, and I decided the energy that I was putting in certain relationships - I was really kind of wasting my time, and I knew it. "

" The late, great Joan Rivers actually gave me so much advice, and she was so nice to me before she passed. "

" If you are a woman with your own money, you have confidence. You have the pick of the litter. "

" There is nothing like a live performance. You can look at things on television, and you can look at things on YouTube, but when you get in a room full of people and you say one joke, and everyone's laughing at the same thing, it's a really great experience. "

" I have relationships. I date. But it takes a lot to say I'm going to be married and have children. "

" Being in the Girl Scouts took me out of the projects environment and showed me different things. "

" I am a seasoned performer. "

" One day, we had a layoff at my job. And I went to my boss, and I said, 'Please save someone else's job. This is a win-win situation for the company and me - and just lay me off.' I did that in around 2003, and I never looked back. I became a full-time comic. "

" At my job, my manager had a massive heart attack; we had layoffs. It made me realize that nothing is certain, nothing is for sure, and if I'm going to make a move, I gotta make a move now. "

" That's the one thing I have to say to females. If you don't have a certain look, or if you look a certain way, they won't accept you. "

" I love being a regular on 'Chelsea Lately!' "

" The president of CBS handpicked me for the 'Star Search' revival, which Arsenio Hall hosted. He picked 12 comics, and I was the only female. I always look to that as inspiration. "

" I'm what you call a satisfied single. I don't want to give any trip reports when I come home. "

" If you think about how many headlining female comics are out there, you could say 15, maybe 20? "

" The thing is, it's that Detroiters are hard workers. We've always been hard workers, even when times are down. I've been able to take that with me, that work ethic, to help me build my career. "

" I have a fear of being broke. That's what I have a fear of. I'm not kidding. "

" I never wanted a traditional lifestyle. I'm not that kind of person. "

" With comedy, I try to steer toward, you know, talking about people that do crazy things, messed-up things. That's what I like to talk about. "