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" At my job, my manager had a massive heart attack; we had layoffs. It made me realize that nothing is certain, nothing is for sure, and if I'm going to make a move, I gotta make a move now. "

Loni Love

Nothing

Now

Heart

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" Whatever you're destined to do, you will be. "

" The thing is being honest with yourself. There's no rule that says you have to be married and have kids. "

" My material reaches everyone. "

Loni Love

Everyone

Material

" I do think the audiences have a right to judge what they feel is offensive and not. "

" That's a nice thing about being a topical standup: you can add in things to keep it fresh. "

" I love being a regular on 'Chelsea Lately!' "

" I keep doing stand-up because the world needs laughter - there's always something happening in the country and in the world. That's why I wanted to become an entertainer: to help people forget about their problems for a little while. "

" That's the one thing I have to say to females. If you don't have a certain look, or if you look a certain way, they won't accept you. "

Loni Love

One Thing

Say

" I will never say never, but I can tell you right now - I am perfectly happy with being who I am. I just - I really - I'm an entertainer, and the thing that I'd decided to work on was my career, and I decided the energy that I was putting in certain relationships - I was really kind of wasting my time, and I knew it. "

" Really, it hasn't changed for female comics; it's still hard for females to really enter the game. "

" I started by doing a little funny story, and then I started going to open mics. I realized I had a lot of work to do - you have to get over the stage fright and get your stage presence up. It took me some time, but I finally feel that I'm at a point where I feel comfortable on stage and giving my point of view. "

Loni Love

Time

Funny

" I don't have a lot of time for television because I am making it, so it's really hard for me to sit down. But when I do get a chance, I try to catch up on 'Scandal,' 'Empire' and 'black-ish.' "

Loni Love

I Am

Television

" If you are a woman with your own money, you have confidence. You have the pick of the litter. "

" I used to be an engineer, and I was the worst engineer in the United States of America. That's why I became a comic. "

" I've been studying myself because I always want to improve. "

" People are getting picked up off the street and getting a show, and it's because we're not using the people that are trying to be entertainers - use more of them. "

Loni Love

Off

People

" I've seen Don Rickles up at the Montreal Comedy Festival. Don Rickles was doing jokes in a wheelchair, and he was headlining a show. Do you think they would let a woman do that? "

" When we heard that little dial-up sound, that eeeeee, and then you connected, and you then go and you check your mail and you get that 'you got mail,' you were excited. I mean, that was the thing. "

Loni Love

Mean

Connected

" I like having peace and quiet in my life, and I am perfectly happy in my relationships. "

" I just do jokes about real situations, pure observation. "

" When you're a plus-sized girl, belts are your best friends. I also love bright colors and skirts, to show my pretty knees. "

" Being a former engineer, you learn to always go back, study yourself, see what you could've done differently, see what you could've said. "

" I'm fat, and I support fat celebrities, like Oprah. "

Loni Love

Fat

Oprah

" You men make up these rules, and now you get mad because I'm telling you what a real woman wants. She wants you to treat her like a lady if you want her to sit up there and put on all the lingerie! "

" There is nothing like a live performance. You can look at things on television, and you can look at things on YouTube, but when you get in a room full of people and you say one joke, and everyone's laughing at the same thing, it's a really great experience. "

" Mom was a nurse's aide. She worked in various hospitals. She took care of us that way, and we ate government cheese. I survived. "

" Life is funny, and that's why I celebrate it in my shows. "

" I am a seasoned performer. "

Loni Love

I Am

Seasoned

" I do talk about celebrity relationships like Kim Kardashian's. I like to find the humor in love. "

" I have a fear of being broke. That's what I have a fear of. I'm not kidding. "