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" I have perfectly symmetrical ankles. "

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" It is good to connect to someone who reminds you that you have some real authenticity. "

" I wouldn't want to be Superman. Batman would be cool. But the one I've always wanted to play is the Joker. There is a maniacal and dangerous side to me. "

" Some people in Silicon Valley are as bad as the 'Koch Brothers', you know? Don't be mistaken. For every some of those, though, you get people who come up with something like 'Leafly', which does what 'Yelp' has done, but in a much more specific way, and it's important because it's the dawn of this new era. "

" I love mispronunciations. I love when people mispronounce things. "

" One of the exciting things about an entanglement puzzle is there's no end to it. Once you solve how to take it apart, you have to solve how to put it back together. "

" Slowly but surely, I went through different phases of fame, and each rises you further into isolation and alienation. "

" I'm always so amazed by which performances work really, really well and which ones don't. But I think it's just mostly, 'She's Out Of My League,' so many people saw that movie on DVD and on the plane. Just millions of people saw that movie. That's the reason I'm somewhat famous. "

" I don't prepare for anything very well. I am not a good actor. I don't read scripts. "

" My father really told me, seriously, if you want something, you can have it, but you may have to work harder than anyone else around you. "

" The moment in which you make somebody laugh, you're only doing it to make them laugh and be happy. Then afterward you can be like, 'Oh, I just want the attention. I feel so good that everybody's listening to me and I got the approval that I need.' "

" I do like the idea of being an auteur in the sense of writing and being in your own stuff. "

" I don't sit and write stand-up material; I come up with an idea onstage. "

" My father always said I have a face for radio, and 'Cloverfield' was one of my finest pieces of work. "

" I love writing but not crazy meticulous/prepared enough to be a director. I'd work as a gaffer on something. "

" I consider myself a fairly ethical individual while I do have a lot of dichotomies within me. We're all victims of our own hypocrisy at times. "

" I know about the tech industry in that I follow what apps are hot and software development. I know my way around different browsers. I know how to restart a computer. "

" I love Denver. "

" Life is hard. Not great. Kind of tragic. "

" I don't really know how to act that much. I'm quite good at comedy, but it's mostly acting naturally. "

" I drink a fair amount of ramen noodles. "

" Everybody asks me what it was like to be in my underwear for my network television debut. "

" I don't know how much the economy has changed since Jonathan Swift's 'A Modest Proposal.' "

" J. P. Morgan. He was kind of a douche. "

" I care less about selling tickets and getting Twitter followers than I do about making as many people laugh as I can. I'd rather make people laugh than make them know who T.J. Miller is. "

" There's sketch, improv, writing, acting, music, and badminton. Those are the seven forms of comedy. But I do like the idea of being an auteur in the sense of writing and being in your own stuff. "

" People dream their whole lives of their Oscar speech; I dreamt my whole life of hosting the Oscars. "

" Listen to my voice - I sound like I'm permanently congested. "

" I always like to have a buffer between me and journalism in general. Not just a reporter, but journalism. "

" Mike Judge is my Jonathan Swift, and I say that because I don't know any other satirists. But the problem with satire is that it's so easily misinterpreted. "

" I consider everybody who takes themselves seriously to be a little bit off. And Silicon Valley seems to be the most effusive about how important their contributions are to society. "