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" I don't know that I would host the Golden Globes or the Emmys because I don't think they have the appreciation for irreverence that the Critics Choice does. "

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" It's always fun to agree to be in a movie when you have no idea what it's actually going to be! "

" I consider everybody who takes themselves seriously to be a little bit off. And Silicon Valley seems to be the most effusive about how important their contributions are to society. "

" It's okay to take yourself too seriously if you're a serious actor and you've got the scrubs on. And then with me, it's kind of like, well, I'm a comedian, I'm making fun of everybody and everything. And I'm making fun of myself. I'm having fun making fun of and for other people. "

" I wouldn't want to be Superman. Batman would be cool. But the one I've always wanted to play is the Joker. There is a maniacal and dangerous side to me. "

" I told the Mucinex people, 'You picked me because I always sound sick'. They were like, 'Well, it doesn't hurt'. "

" I acted in high school and studied at the British American Drama Academy in Oxford for one summer. I minored in theater, and I was always acting growing up and stuff, but really, I was just more interested in the comedy of it all. So for me, it's always comedy, and then acting is just one medium of comedy. "

" I drink a fair amount of ramen noodles. "

" Every time I could possibly be doing stand up, I am. "

" Mike Judge is my Jonathan Swift, and I say that because I don't know any other satirists. But the problem with satire is that it's so easily misinterpreted. "

" By the very nature of satire or parody, you have to love and respect your target and respect it enough to understand every aspect of it, so you can more effectively make fun of it. "

" To become the best comedian, I must be well-rounded. "

" Funny is as funny does, and funny puts on a walrus mask and slowly gyrates in a mall food court. I laugh at absurdity hardest, then stories, then observations, then bearded men on roller skates. "

" There is no place for a person like me in a world that only takes itself seriously. Satire is so necessary but fairly ineffective. "

" I would say that awards are for children. Because children need a tangible representation of their achievement. And as adults, you have to settle for the respect and admiration of your peers. "

" We're not a nation divided: we're a nation broken, and anything broken can be fixed. "

" 'Yogi Bear' changed my life in ways that I can't explain because it's not a full feature on me. 'Yogi Bear' - there's everything before 'Yogi Bear,' and there's everything after 'Yogi Bear.' Like a major car accident, or the birth of Christ. "

" One of the exciting things about an entanglement puzzle is there's no end to it. Once you solve how to take it apart, you have to solve how to put it back together. "

" It is good to connect to someone who reminds you that you have some real authenticity. "

" My father really told me, seriously, if you want something, you can have it, but you may have to work harder than anyone else around you. "

" I feel like I've forcefully been thrust into the tech world, and I've enjoyed every minute of it. "

" People dream their whole lives of their Oscar speech; I dreamt my whole life of hosting the Oscars. "

" The moment in which you make somebody laugh, you're only doing it to make them laugh and be happy. Then afterward you can be like, 'Oh, I just want the attention. I feel so good that everybody's listening to me and I got the approval that I need.' "

" Mucinex were like, 'Would you like to be the Mucinex man? You sound like you're sick right now'. In each spot, they give me a little bit of room to do something strange. And in a world of fractured mediums, where there is no zeitgeist, and you get your comedy from your phone, it's all content. "

" I was the Head Boy of East High School in 1999. I represent 303 - the area code, not the band - Mile High, until I die. I'm 31, a comedian; I juggle, but I don't glove it. I think waxed mustaches run a very thin line between hipster and 1800s barkeep. "

" To be honest, I would never have imagined myself acting on a sitcom that I didn't write. "

" I do comedy to give people an ephemeral escape from the tragedy that permeates everyday life. "

" I don't prepare for anything very well. I am not a good actor. I don't read scripts. "

" I care less about selling tickets and getting Twitter followers than I do about making as many people laugh as I can. I'd rather make people laugh than make them know who T.J. Miller is. "

" I don't know how much the economy has changed since Jonathan Swift's 'A Modest Proposal.' "

" Effective satire has to be almost identical to the subject that it is skewering. "