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" I do not like sports, unless you consider treating all humankind with love and respect a sport. "

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" People don't understand that that's really what it is. They're looking for a magic phone number or something. And to a certain extent, I understand that, because comedy is treated so much as a stepping stone by a lot of people. "

" I'm particularly proud of my reluctance to share my dreams with anyone. "

" Only lately, like within the last few years, have I had people actually do an impression of me to me, which weirds me out to think of what they have picked up on, without ever realizing it myself. "

" I thought they may have presumed too much knowledge of certain things for people who are not comedians. Like Montreal. A comic understands what it is and its importance, but someone else may not know about it. "

" I had temping jobs also. I liked the flexibility. There was no asking for time off; you just didn't work. "

" It was actually 3 years between albums. That seems like a long time to me. "

" And the goal really is to make the audience laugh, to bring them some joy. "

" I had some friends that tried it down there, and I went to a couple of open mics, and I just kind of got this... this sick urge to try it instead of just watching it. "

" I've never been a TV junkie. I remember watching Letterman way back when he had a morning show. "

" I'd rather send out a mass email then hang posters all over the place. "

" There's people that are just in awe of what you do, and then there are people who just think it's garbage. And I think there are people who are just uncomfortable seeing someone have fun with their job. "

" I would call it a comedy variety show. We have some people just doing straight standup. We usually try to have one musical act of sort. So its just people being funny in different ways, not just sketch, not just standup, not just characters, all of those things. "

" I guess there seems to be clubs opening up again, which is strange. "

" I like pens. My writing is so amazing there's never a need to erase. "

" There seems to be more comedy for comedy's sake. "

" I mean, I guess I started during the comedy boom, so it was literally like, on Sunday you could decide you wanted to be a comic, and on Monday, you could be on stage. "

" If I'm at a party and someone puts on a Blues Brothers tape, I tend to go nuts. "

" I mean, I've always had scattered interests, but I never went on stage to get an agent or anything like that. "

" I used to write things out beforehand. But sometimes it backfires. "

" I did end up doing substitute teaching, but there's not a lot of teaching involved in that. "

" I mean, I've had bartenders and waiters and waitresses make a comment about a joke of mine, like pointing out some sort of logic error or something that I've never even thought about, and they're right. "

" I once sat next to Jim from Wild Kingdom on a flight from Atlanta. I find mentioning that opens a lot of doors. "

" Buddha, much like everyone else has good and bad days. "

" I don't know any astronauts. There are a lot of people who say they want to be comedians. "

" It's cool to go to a place that has posters up and it's one night only. It feels more special. "

" I love chicken. I would eat chicken fingers on Thanksgiving if it were socially acceptable. "

" I want to release another CD this year, finish writing a screenplay, and make another short film. "

" I basically did comedy there for about a year, and then moved to New York. If I had it to do over again, I would have booked myself on the road for at least a year. "

" I am the the type to have a personal experience with a celebrity, but I'm too classy to bring that up. "

" I liked the koala, wallaby, and I chilled with a kangaroo a bit. There was a wombat that I quite enjoyed also. "