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" It was actually 3 years between albums. That seems like a long time to me. "

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" If I'm at a party and someone puts on a Blues Brothers tape, I tend to go nuts. "

" If you see me at a restaurant, blow me a kiss, wave, blow me another kiss, then walk five steps backward. "

" I mean, I've had bartenders and waiters and waitresses make a comment about a joke of mine, like pointing out some sort of logic error or something that I've never even thought about, and they're right. "

" You come there and hang out and have a drink before the show and eat, so it's not that brutal. It's only $6. "

" I liked the koala, wallaby, and I chilled with a kangaroo a bit. There was a wombat that I quite enjoyed also. "

" I like pens. My writing is so amazing there's never a need to erase. "

" I'm traveling the world, ripping rooms apart with my stupendous comedy. "

" I am the the type to have a personal experience with a celebrity, but I'm too classy to bring that up. "

" There seems to be more comedy for comedy's sake. "

" People in New York love having roof parties. "

" And the goal really is to make the audience laugh, to bring them some joy. "

" I did end up doing substitute teaching, but there's not a lot of teaching involved in that. "

" You always think you're better than you are in the beginning. "

" I do not like sports, unless you consider treating all humankind with love and respect a sport. "

" People don't understand that that's really what it is. They're looking for a magic phone number or something. And to a certain extent, I understand that, because comedy is treated so much as a stepping stone by a lot of people. "

" My sister sometimes does a Todd Barry tribute act. "

" I'd rather send out a mass email then hang posters all over the place. "

" I love chicken. I would eat chicken fingers on Thanksgiving if it were socially acceptable. "

" I will not be misquoted! "

" Only lately, like within the last few years, have I had people actually do an impression of me to me, which weirds me out to think of what they have picked up on, without ever realizing it myself. "

" I used to write things out beforehand. But sometimes it backfires. "

" I guess there seems to be clubs opening up again, which is strange. "

" Anyone who bombs is my friend. "

" I mean, I guess I realized subconsciously that this is what I should be doing before I realized it, consciously. Verbally, I don't think I had committed to it, even though I was driving everywhere, every night, just trying to get on stage. "

" I had some friends that tried it down there, and I went to a couple of open mics, and I just kind of got this... this sick urge to try it instead of just watching it. "

" I want to release another CD this year, finish writing a screenplay, and make another short film. "

" I would call it a comedy variety show. We have some people just doing straight standup. We usually try to have one musical act of sort. So its just people being funny in different ways, not just sketch, not just standup, not just characters, all of those things. "

" I don't really know much about pirates, or pirate culture. I'd be a contrarian pirate. "

" I'm particularly proud of my reluctance to share my dreams with anyone. "

" I had temping jobs also. I liked the flexibility. There was no asking for time off; you just didn't work. "