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" If I'm at a party and someone puts on a Blues Brothers tape, I tend to go nuts. "

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" Anyone who bombs is my friend. "

" I got access to a private tour of the zoo. I got to go in a cage with a koala, which I highly recommend. "

" If you see me at a restaurant, blow me a kiss, wave, blow me another kiss, then walk five steps backward. "

" I'd rather send out a mass email then hang posters all over the place. "

" I did end up doing substitute teaching, but there's not a lot of teaching involved in that. "

" You come there and hang out and have a drink before the show and eat, so it's not that brutal. It's only $6. "

" I don't really know much about pirates, or pirate culture. I'd be a contrarian pirate. "

" Buddha, much like everyone else has good and bad days. "

" I used to write things out beforehand. But sometimes it backfires. "

" I want to release another CD this year, finish writing a screenplay, and make another short film. "

" I'm traveling the world, ripping rooms apart with my stupendous comedy. "

" I don't know any astronauts. There are a lot of people who say they want to be comedians. "

" Well, I have since seen you at Tinkle. It's a comedy show started by David Cross, me and Jon Benjamin. It features a wide variety of acts for all tastes and seasons. "

" My sister sometimes does a Todd Barry tribute act. "

" It's cool to go to a place that has posters up and it's one night only. It feels more special. "

" I'm particularly proud of my reluctance to share my dreams with anyone. "

" I mean, I guess I realized subconsciously that this is what I should be doing before I realized it, consciously. Verbally, I don't think I had committed to it, even though I was driving everywhere, every night, just trying to get on stage. "

" People don't understand that that's really what it is. They're looking for a magic phone number or something. And to a certain extent, I understand that, because comedy is treated so much as a stepping stone by a lot of people. "

" I had temping jobs also. I liked the flexibility. There was no asking for time off; you just didn't work. "

" I mean, I guess I started during the comedy boom, so it was literally like, on Sunday you could decide you wanted to be a comic, and on Monday, you could be on stage. "

" You always think you're better than you are in the beginning. "

" I would call it a comedy variety show. We have some people just doing straight standup. We usually try to have one musical act of sort. So its just people being funny in different ways, not just sketch, not just standup, not just characters, all of those things. "

" I must have done everything I had. You go through years where you go through everything you've ever written. "

" I wasn't as nervous as I thought I would be when I started. "

" I mean, I've always had scattered interests, but I never went on stage to get an agent or anything like that. "

" I loved Australia. I was very successful there. "

" I mean, I've had bartenders and waiters and waitresses make a comment about a joke of mine, like pointing out some sort of logic error or something that I've never even thought about, and they're right. "

" I love chicken. I would eat chicken fingers on Thanksgiving if it were socially acceptable. "

" Only lately, like within the last few years, have I had people actually do an impression of me to me, which weirds me out to think of what they have picked up on, without ever realizing it myself. "

" There seems to be more comedy for comedy's sake. "