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" I once sat next to Jim from Wild Kingdom on a flight from Atlanta. I find mentioning that opens a lot of doors. "

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" Only lately, like within the last few years, have I had people actually do an impression of me to me, which weirds me out to think of what they have picked up on, without ever realizing it myself. "

" I've never been a TV junkie. I remember watching Letterman way back when he had a morning show. "

" There seems to be more comedy for comedy's sake. "

" I love chicken. I would eat chicken fingers on Thanksgiving if it were socially acceptable. "

" If I'm at a party and someone puts on a Blues Brothers tape, I tend to go nuts. "

" I like pens. My writing is so amazing there's never a need to erase. "

" You always think you're better than you are in the beginning. "

" I want to release another CD this year, finish writing a screenplay, and make another short film. "

" I am the the type to have a personal experience with a celebrity, but I'm too classy to bring that up. "

" I wasn't as nervous as I thought I would be when I started. "

" I thought they may have presumed too much knowledge of certain things for people who are not comedians. Like Montreal. A comic understands what it is and its importance, but someone else may not know about it. "

" I don't really know much about pirates, or pirate culture. I'd be a contrarian pirate. "

" I'm traveling the world, ripping rooms apart with my stupendous comedy. "

" There's people that are just in awe of what you do, and then there are people who just think it's garbage. And I think there are people who are just uncomfortable seeing someone have fun with their job. "

" My sister sometimes does a Todd Barry tribute act. "

" I loved Australia. I was very successful there. "

" I would call it a comedy variety show. We have some people just doing straight standup. We usually try to have one musical act of sort. So its just people being funny in different ways, not just sketch, not just standup, not just characters, all of those things. "

" I will not be misquoted! "

" I mean, I've had bartenders and waiters and waitresses make a comment about a joke of mine, like pointing out some sort of logic error or something that I've never even thought about, and they're right. "

" It was actually 3 years between albums. That seems like a long time to me. "

" It's cool to go to a place that has posters up and it's one night only. It feels more special. "

" I guess there seems to be clubs opening up again, which is strange. "

" People in New York love having roof parties. "

" You come there and hang out and have a drink before the show and eat, so it's not that brutal. It's only $6. "

" I mean, I guess I started during the comedy boom, so it was literally like, on Sunday you could decide you wanted to be a comic, and on Monday, you could be on stage. "

" I don't feel I'm even worthy of a normal amount of value. "

" Anyone who bombs is my friend. "

" I mean, I've always had scattered interests, but I never went on stage to get an agent or anything like that. "

" I was probably just trying to be Dennis Miller, but without the vocabulary to actually be Dennis Miller. I guess I was just less interesting than I am now, if I am interesting at all. "

" I got access to a private tour of the zoo. I got to go in a cage with a koala, which I highly recommend. "