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" I don't know any astronauts. There are a lot of people who say they want to be comedians. "

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" People in New York love having roof parties. "

" I don't feel I'm even worthy of a normal amount of value. "

" Well, I have since seen you at Tinkle. It's a comedy show started by David Cross, me and Jon Benjamin. It features a wide variety of acts for all tastes and seasons. "

" If you see me at a restaurant, blow me a kiss, wave, blow me another kiss, then walk five steps backward. "

" I love chicken. I would eat chicken fingers on Thanksgiving if it were socially acceptable. "

" You come there and hang out and have a drink before the show and eat, so it's not that brutal. It's only $6. "

" My sister sometimes does a Todd Barry tribute act. "

" I'm traveling the world, ripping rooms apart with my stupendous comedy. "

" I am the the type to have a personal experience with a celebrity, but I'm too classy to bring that up. "

" I mean, I guess I started during the comedy boom, so it was literally like, on Sunday you could decide you wanted to be a comic, and on Monday, you could be on stage. "

" It's cool to go to a place that has posters up and it's one night only. It feels more special. "

" I loved Australia. I was very successful there. "

" I wasn't as nervous as I thought I would be when I started. "

" I've never been a TV junkie. I remember watching Letterman way back when he had a morning show. "

" I guess there seems to be clubs opening up again, which is strange. "

" I do not like sports, unless you consider treating all humankind with love and respect a sport. "

" If I'm at a party and someone puts on a Blues Brothers tape, I tend to go nuts. "

" I basically did comedy there for about a year, and then moved to New York. If I had it to do over again, I would have booked myself on the road for at least a year. "

" I did end up doing substitute teaching, but there's not a lot of teaching involved in that. "

" I would call it a comedy variety show. We have some people just doing straight standup. We usually try to have one musical act of sort. So its just people being funny in different ways, not just sketch, not just standup, not just characters, all of those things. "

" You always think you're better than you are in the beginning. "

" Anyone who bombs is my friend. "

" I got access to a private tour of the zoo. I got to go in a cage with a koala, which I highly recommend. "

" Some venues are better run than others. Sometimes it's just maddening to deal with full dinners being served in front of your face. You can have a good or bad show anywhere. "

" Only lately, like within the last few years, have I had people actually do an impression of me to me, which weirds me out to think of what they have picked up on, without ever realizing it myself. "

" There seems to be more comedy for comedy's sake. "

" I like pens. My writing is so amazing there's never a need to erase. "

" I'd rather send out a mass email then hang posters all over the place. "

" I mean, I've always had scattered interests, but I never went on stage to get an agent or anything like that. "

" I used to write things out beforehand. But sometimes it backfires. "