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" I drink a fair amount of ramen noodles. "

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" I think I'm just a comedian who's a pretty good con man, and I don't see that changing any time soon. "

" If you're a psychologist, you can instrumentally change peoples lives for the better. But you can only do that for about 300 people to maybe a thousand people - if you're really prolific and you're working really hard. "

" I love writing but not crazy meticulous/prepared enough to be a director. I'd work as a gaffer on something. "

" People dream their whole lives of their Oscar speech; I dreamt my whole life of hosting the Oscars. "

" I don't prepare for anything very well. I am not a good actor. I don't read scripts. "

" I can't stand Snapchat, but that will be extinct before it is relevant. "

" Effective satire has to be almost identical to the subject that it is skewering. "

" I actually prefer Twitter as a medium, and I also got into Periscope for a second, but I'm still trying to figure out what to do with it. I can't figure out if the only important thing about it is the live broadcast, or if it's an interesting kind of way to log what you do. "

" Always remember: My general theme is 'There is no message.' There never has been. Stop trying to find the message or the meaning in everything. That's. My. Theme. "

" We try and reflect that there's a lot of optimism, there's a lot of positive things that are happening in 'Silicon Valley'. "

" We're not a nation divided: we're a nation broken, and anything broken can be fixed. "

" I like hip-hop, but I don't like concerts. There's, like, sweat on people's backs. "

" I think it is very important to be a method actor. "

" There's nothing I would love more than to host an awards show where I'm nominated for an award - that is so funny to me. "

" 'Yogi Bear' changed my life in ways that I can't explain because it's not a full feature on me. 'Yogi Bear' - there's everything before 'Yogi Bear,' and there's everything after 'Yogi Bear.' Like a major car accident, or the birth of Christ. "

" It's always fun to agree to be in a movie when you have no idea what it's actually going to be! "

" Stuff that I write isn't as similar to the stuff that I'm in, but I don't really care. I just do comedy. "

" I was the Head Boy of East High School in 1999. I represent 303 - the area code, not the band - Mile High, until I die. I'm 31, a comedian; I juggle, but I don't glove it. I think waxed mustaches run a very thin line between hipster and 1800s barkeep. "

" I laugh at absurdity hardest, then stories, then observations, then bearded men on roller skates. "

" I feel like I've forcefully been thrust into the tech world, and I've enjoyed every minute of it. "

" I know about the tech industry in that I follow what apps are hot and software development. I know my way around different browsers. I know how to restart a computer. "

" Listen to my voice - I sound like I'm permanently congested. "

" Slowly but surely, I went through different phases of fame, and each rises you further into isolation and alienation. "

" I feel a strong affinity to Ke$ha and Katy Perry and a lot of these women who are really pushing the girl power femme fatale thing. It's fun, and it's unapologetic, and they tell women they can do whatever they want, and that's true, and that's a message that I want to carry, to tell girls they can do whatever they want. "

" It is good to connect to someone who reminds you that you have some real authenticity. "

" I care less about selling tickets and getting Twitter followers than I do about making as many people laugh as I can. I'd rather make people laugh than make them know who T.J. Miller is. "

" I don't really know how to act that much. I'm quite good at comedy, but it's mostly acting naturally. "

" To become the best comedian, I must be well-rounded. "

" I do like the idea of being an auteur in the sense of writing and being in your own stuff. "

" Mucinex were like, 'Would you like to be the Mucinex man? You sound like you're sick right now'. In each spot, they give me a little bit of room to do something strange. And in a world of fractured mediums, where there is no zeitgeist, and you get your comedy from your phone, it's all content. "