Get QuoteDark Inspirational Quotes App

" I don't prepare for anything very well. I am not a good actor. I don't read scripts. "

Related Quotes:

" I was the Head Boy of East High School in 1999. I represent 303 - the area code, not the band - Mile High, until I die. I'm 31, a comedian; I juggle, but I don't glove it. I think waxed mustaches run a very thin line between hipster and 1800s barkeep. "

" I don't know that I would host the Golden Globes or the Emmys because I don't think they have the appreciation for irreverence that the Critics Choice does. "

" If you're a psychologist, you can instrumentally change peoples lives for the better. But you can only do that for about 300 people to maybe a thousand people - if you're really prolific and you're working really hard. "

" Stuff that I write isn't as similar to the stuff that I'm in, but I don't really care. I just do comedy. "

" I know about the tech industry in that I follow what apps are hot and software development. I know my way around different browsers. I know how to restart a computer. "

" I don't know how much the economy has changed since Jonathan Swift's 'A Modest Proposal.' "

" I like hip-hop, but I don't like concerts. There's, like, sweat on people's backs. "

" I don't really know how to act that much. I'm quite good at comedy, but it's mostly acting naturally. "

" I sound like a chain-smoking drag queen after a hard night of singing 'Tie a Yellow Ribbon'. "

" I'm a stand-up. I'm never worried about getting my next role. That's never distressing to me. "

" I would say that awards are for children. Because children need a tangible representation of their achievement. And as adults, you have to settle for the respect and admiration of your peers. "

" I laugh at absurdity hardest, then stories, then observations, then bearded men on roller skates. "

" I love writing but not crazy meticulous/prepared enough to be a director. I'd work as a gaffer on something. "

" I'm always so amazed by which performances work really, really well and which ones don't. But I think it's just mostly, 'She's Out Of My League,' so many people saw that movie on DVD and on the plane. Just millions of people saw that movie. That's the reason I'm somewhat famous. "

" I care less about selling tickets and getting Twitter followers than I do about making as many people laugh as I can. I'd rather make people laugh than make them know who T.J. Miller is. "

" One of the exciting things about an entanglement puzzle is there's no end to it. Once you solve how to take it apart, you have to solve how to put it back together. "

" People dream their whole lives of their Oscar speech; I dreamt my whole life of hosting the Oscars. "

" When you get into a car, and there's trash, or it's dirty, or one of the hubcaps is off, you're like, 'Come on, dude.' Every woman likes the confidence and self-respect that says, 'I get oil changes. I look after my vehicle.' That's what I recommend: Act like you don't care, but take care of your body. "

" Some people in Silicon Valley are as bad as the 'Koch Brothers', you know? Don't be mistaken. For every some of those, though, you get people who come up with something like 'Leafly', which does what 'Yelp' has done, but in a much more specific way, and it's important because it's the dawn of this new era. "

" I feel like I've forcefully been thrust into the tech world, and I've enjoyed every minute of it. "

" It's okay to take yourself too seriously if you're a serious actor and you've got the scrubs on. And then with me, it's kind of like, well, I'm a comedian, I'm making fun of everybody and everything. And I'm making fun of myself. I'm having fun making fun of and for other people. "

" I don't believe in alcohol. It's a sort of a medicinal necessity for the human condition, none of that stuff. I'm not a gambling man. "

" I always like to have a buffer between me and journalism in general. Not just a reporter, but journalism. "

" It's much better to wreak havoc on a show and be a maniac than promote myself. Plugs and anecdotes aren't really in line with my beliefs. Besides, if someone sees me on a morning show and thinks, 'That's not funny; this guy is crazy,' then I don't want them to come to the show anyway. "

" I drink a fair amount of ramen noodles. "

" We try and reflect that there's a lot of optimism, there's a lot of positive things that are happening in 'Silicon Valley'. "

" Life is hard. Not great. Kind of tragic. "

" I think I'm just a comedian who's a pretty good con man, and I don't see that changing any time soon. "

" Everybody asks me what it was like to be in my underwear for my network television debut. "

" I have perfectly symmetrical ankles. "