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" I do like the idea of being an auteur in the sense of writing and being in your own stuff. "

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" Effective satire has to be almost identical to the subject that it is skewering. "

" I drink a fair amount of ramen noodles. "

" Mucinex were like, 'Would you like to be the Mucinex man? You sound like you're sick right now'. In each spot, they give me a little bit of room to do something strange. And in a world of fractured mediums, where there is no zeitgeist, and you get your comedy from your phone, it's all content. "

" I would say that awards are for children. Because children need a tangible representation of their achievement. And as adults, you have to settle for the respect and admiration of your peers. "

" My father really told me, seriously, if you want something, you can have it, but you may have to work harder than anyone else around you. "

" Always remember: My general theme is 'There is no message.' There never has been. Stop trying to find the message or the meaning in everything. That's. My. Theme. "

" I think I'm just a comedian who's a pretty good con man, and I don't see that changing any time soon. "

" Listen to my voice - I sound like I'm permanently congested. "

" There is no place for a person like me in a world that only takes itself seriously. Satire is so necessary but fairly ineffective. "

" One of the exciting things about an entanglement puzzle is there's no end to it. Once you solve how to take it apart, you have to solve how to put it back together. "

" I'm always so amazed by which performances work really, really well and which ones don't. But I think it's just mostly, 'She's Out Of My League,' so many people saw that movie on DVD and on the plane. Just millions of people saw that movie. That's the reason I'm somewhat famous. "

" People dream their whole lives of their Oscar speech; I dreamt my whole life of hosting the Oscars. "

" I don't really know how to act that much. I'm quite good at comedy, but it's mostly acting naturally. "

" I don't believe in alcohol. It's a sort of a medicinal necessity for the human condition, none of that stuff. I'm not a gambling man. "

" J. P. Morgan. He was kind of a douche. "

" I do comedy to give people an ephemeral escape from the tragedy that permeates everyday life. "

" I laugh at absurdity hardest, then stories, then observations, then bearded men on roller skates. "

" I know about the tech industry in that I follow what apps are hot and software development. I know my way around different browsers. I know how to restart a computer. "

" There's nothing I would love more than to host an awards show where I'm nominated for an award - that is so funny to me. "

" I'm a Nietzschean scholar. I've read an immense amount about nihilism and existentialism. "

" I don't know how much the economy has changed since Jonathan Swift's 'A Modest Proposal.' "

" I think it is very important to be a method actor. "

" By the very nature of satire or parody, you have to love and respect your target and respect it enough to understand every aspect of it, so you can more effectively make fun of it. "

" I told the Mucinex people, 'You picked me because I always sound sick'. They were like, 'Well, it doesn't hurt'. "

" It doesn't matter to me if I'm in love with my performance, so I watch all of my performances to understand and learn from them and figure out what's working and what's not. And I see the movies that I'm in in the theater a lot. "

" I don't know that I would host the Golden Globes or the Emmys because I don't think they have the appreciation for irreverence that the Critics Choice does. "

" It is good to connect to someone who reminds you that you have some real authenticity. "

" It's much better to wreak havoc on a show and be a maniac than promote myself. Plugs and anecdotes aren't really in line with my beliefs. Besides, if someone sees me on a morning show and thinks, 'That's not funny; this guy is crazy,' then I don't want them to come to the show anyway. "

" I try to be an ethical, moral person and a nice person, and I like to have that reflected in my comedy. I'm not a mean comedian, and I don't think that my comedy is mean. I think that for the most part, it's more focused on the diversity that we all handle and try to provide a distraction from the disaster of modern living. "

" I care less about selling tickets and getting Twitter followers than I do about making as many people laugh as I can. I'd rather make people laugh than make them know who T.J. Miller is. "