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" The world is being run by irresponsible spoiled brats. "
P. J. O'Rourke
World
Irresponsible
Run
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" Adam Smith is misread as being amoral precisely because people don't read his first book, because they don't read 'The Theory of Moral Sentiments.' "
P. J. O'Rourke
Moral
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Adam
" No humorist is under any obligation to provide answers and probably if you were to delve into the literary history of humour it's probably all about not providing answers because the humorist essentially says: this is the way things are. "
P. J. O'Rourke
History
You
Way
" Art Nouveau got its inspiration from nature. The Bauhaus got its inspiration from engineering. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Engineering
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Art
" Like it or not, I've come to appreciate soccer. Any kid can play, which fits with the inclusive agenda of progressive schools. Although the corollary to 'any kid can play' is that every kid must play because there is an iron grip to the warm hug of progressive inclusionism. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Soccer
Hug
Kid
" Lack of romance is my real objection to writing on a computer. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Real
Writing
Romance
" All religious believers should be licensed to make sure that they are competent to hold opinions and viewpoints and that they don't believe in just any old thing, such as creationism or a flat tax. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Opinions
Old
Just
" The mystery of government is not how Washington works but how to make it stop. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Government
Washington
Mystery
" In the language of politics, there is only one translation for the phrase 'hope and change,' to wit: 'big, fat government.' "
P. J. O'Rourke
Change
Politics
Hope
" No Americans wants to see somebody lose their house because of health bills. Their boat? Maybe. Maybe the boat. But not the house. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Health
Because
Lose
" Mistreatment of al Qaeda members and their friends and hangers-on is something I number among my moral concerns. But it's number 1,000,000,001. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Something
Among
Moral
" The C student starts a restaurant. The A student writes restaurant reviews. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Student
Restaurant
Reviews
" No doubt the ridiculous politicians are right to like politics. They have found careers in which success can be achieved by being ridiculous. Imagine Jimmy Carter or George W. Bush rising to the top of any other profession. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Politicians
Politics
Success
" Whatever it is that the government does, sensible Americans would prefer that the government does it to somebody else. This is the idea behind foreign policy. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Government
Whatever
Policy
" A deadly sins addendum is long overdue. Life has changed since Pope Gregory the Great scribbled his initial list in the sixth century. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Long
Changed
Great
" The library, with its Daedalian labyrinth, mysterious hush, and faintly ominous aroma of knowledge, has been replaced by the computer's cheap glow, pesky chirp, and data spillage. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Cheap
Library
Knowledge
" I'm really tired of virtue. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Virtue
Really
Tired
" Making fun of born-again Christians is like hunting dairy cows with a high powered rifle and scope. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Like
Making
Fun
" I think it's been hard for people to understand how Islam can be a good religion, and yet the Islamists are evil. Those of us who have had experience with Islam understand this, just as we understand the difference between snake handlers and people going to church on Sunday morning. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Religion
Experience
Good
" My wife and I both come from Irish families. There are two kinds of Irish families: the hitting kind and the kidding kind. If you're fortunate - and both of us are - you come from the kidding kind of Irish family. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Two
Family
Irish
" Richard Nixon was the best thing that ever happened to journalism. I mean this guy was wonderful. Just when you thought he could get no worse, he got worse. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Mean
Best
You
" Politicians will talk strategy and tactics and policies and programs until they're blue in the face, or you strangle them and they turn blue. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Strategy
You
Blue
" America has to act. But, when America acts, other nations accuse us of being 'hegemonistic', of engaging in 'unilateralism', of behaving as if we're the only nation on earth that counts. We are. "
P. J. O'Rourke
America
Nation
Only
" There is one thing women can never take away from men. We die sooner. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Die
Women
Take
" Always read something that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Death
Die
Good
" I like making things. I have a wood shop at home. I am a terrible carpenter but I love doing it. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Doing
Love
Like
" Some day you will be wheeled in for a heart bypass operation, and a surgeon will be the person who is now behind the counter when you renew your car registration at the department of motor vehicles. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Car
You
Surgeon
" I like to think of my behavior in the sixties as a 'learning experience.' Then again, I like to think of anything stupid I've done as a 'learning experience.' It makes me feel less stupid. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Experience
Think
Stupid
" Political systems are run by self-selecting politicians. We don't draft people; it's not jury duty. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Run
Politicians
Political
" To blame the existence of al Qaeda on poverty like Egypt's is a slur on the poor. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Existence
Poverty
Blame
" If death weren't around to 'finalize' the Darwinian process, we'd all still be amoebas. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Around
Were
Process