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" Ideally a book would have no order to it, and the reader would have to discover his own. "
Mark Twain
His
Book
Discover
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" Only one thing is impossible for God: To find any sense in any copyright law on the planet. "
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" In the Spring, I have counted 136 different kinds of weather inside of 24 hours. "
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" By trying we can easily learn to endure adversity. Another man's, I mean. "
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" A man who carries a cat by the tail learns something he can learn in no other way. "
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" India has 2,000,000 gods and worships them all. In religion, all other countries are paupers; India is the only millionaire. "
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" The lack of money is the root of all evil. "
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Money
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Evil
" George Washington, as a boy, was ignorant of the commonest accomplishments of youth. He could not even lie. "
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Lie
" Why shouldn't truth be stranger than fiction? Fiction, after all, has to make sense. "
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Why
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Stranger
" There are people who can do all fine and heroic things but one - keep from telling their happiness to the unhappy. "
Mark Twain
Unhappy
Happiness
Things
" As an example to others, and not that I care for moderation myself, it has always been my rule never to smoke when asleep, and never to refrain from smoking when awake. "
Mark Twain
Myself
Moderation
Smoking
" Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it. "
Mark Twain
Forgiveness
Violet
Crushed
" I make it a rule never to smoke while I'm sleeping. "
Mark Twain
Make
Smoke
Sleeping
" When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained. "
Mark Twain
Life
Mad
Disappear
" Do not tell fish stories where the people know you; but particularly, don't tell them where they know the fish. "
Mark Twain
Tell
You
Stories
" The difference between the almost right word and the right word is really a large matter - 'tis the difference between the lightning-bug and the lightning. "
Mark Twain
Lightning
Right
Difference
" Action speaks louder than words but not nearly as often. "
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Than
Words
Louder
" Civilization is the limitless multiplication of unnecessary necessities. "
Mark Twain
Unnecessary
Limitless
Civilization
" The reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated. "
Mark Twain
Been
Exaggerated
Funny
" My mother had a great deal of trouble with me, but I think she enjoyed it. "
Mark Twain
Great
Mother
She
" A round man cannot be expected to fit in a square hole right away. He must have time to modify his shape. "
Mark Twain
Square
Time
Shape
" The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter. "
Mark Twain
Race
Human
Human Race
" Many a small thing has been made large by the right kind of advertising. "
Mark Twain
Small
Kind
Been
" The finest clothing made is a person's own skin, but, of course, society demands something more than this. "
Mark Twain
Clothing
Own
Person
" There are times when one would like to hang the whole human race, and finish the farce. "
Mark Twain
Hang
Human
Like
" In the first place, God made idiots. That was for practice. Then he made school boards. "
Mark Twain
God
School
Place
" Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about. "
Mark Twain
Patriotism
He
Knowing
" The secret source of humor is not joy but sorrow; there is no humor in Heaven. "
Mark Twain
Humor
Heaven
Joy
" It put our energies to sleep and made visionaries of us - dreamers and indolent... It is good to begin life poor; it is good to begin life rich - these are wholesome; but to begin it prospectively rich! The man who has not experienced it cannot imagine the curse of it. "
Mark Twain
Man
Poor
Rich
" The main difference between a cat and a lie is that a cat only has nine lives. "
Mark Twain
Difference
Cat
Only
" The very ink with which history is written is merely fluid prejudice. "
Mark Twain
Fluid
Prejudice
Ink