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" Do not tell fish stories where the people know you; but particularly, don't tell them where they know the fish. "

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" Do the right thing. It will gratify some people and astonish the rest. "

Do The Right Thing

" Truth is stranger than fiction, but it is because Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities; Truth isn't. "

" My books are like water; those of the great geniuses are wine. (Fortunately) everybody drinks water. "

" A round man cannot be expected to fit in a square hole right away. He must have time to modify his shape. "

" To be good is noble; but to show others how to be good is nobler and no trouble. "

" Everything human is pathetic. The secret source of humor itself is not joy but sorrow. There is no humor in heaven. "

" Under certain circumstances, urgent circumstances, desperate circumstances, profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer. "

" The Christian's Bible is a drug store. Its contents remain the same, but the medical practice changes. "

" The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them. "

" Prosperity is the best protector of principle. "

" There are several good protections against temptation, but the surest is cowardice. "

" A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval. "

" I must have a prodigious quantity of mind; it takes me as much as a week sometimes to make it up. "

" There are times when one would like to hang the whole human race, and finish the farce. "

" It usually takes me more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech. "

" Ideally a book would have no order to it, and the reader would have to discover his own. "

" A man is never more truthful than when he acknowledges himself a liar. "

" Name the greatest of all inventors. Accident. "

" Wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been. "

" I never smoke to excess - that is, I smoke in moderation, only one cigar at a time. "

" There is no distinctly American criminal class - except Congress. "

" Optimist: day dreamer more elegantly spelled. "

" Buy land, they're not making it anymore. "

" It is better to deserve honors and not have them than to have them and not deserve them. "

" Climate is what we expect, weather is what we get. "

" The educated Southerner has no use for an 'r', except at the beginning of a word. "

" Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear, not absence of fear. "

" What, sir, would the people of the earth be without woman? They would be scarce, sir, almighty scarce. "

" The more things are forbidden, the more popular they become. "

" Grief can take care if itself, but to get the full value of a joy you must have somebody to divide it with. "