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" By trying we can easily learn to endure adversity. Another man's, I mean. "

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" Only kings, presidents, editors, and people with tapeworms have the right to use the editorial 'we.' "

" Do the right thing. It will gratify some people and astonish the rest. "

Do The Right Thing

" The Christian's Bible is a drug store. Its contents remain the same, but the medical practice changes. "

" The more things are forbidden, the more popular they become. "

" Man will do many things to get himself loved, he will do all things to get himself envied. "

" The secret source of humor is not joy but sorrow; there is no humor in Heaven. "

" It is by the goodness of God that in our country we have those three unspeakably precious things: freedom of speech, freedom of conscience, and the prudence never to practice either of them. "

" Apparently there is nothing that cannot happen today. "

" I must have a prodigious quantity of mind; it takes me as much as a week sometimes to make it up. "

" It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog. "

" How lucky Adam was. He knew when he said a good thing, nobody had said it before. "

" You can't depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus. "

" The Public is merely a multiplied 'me.' "

" Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see. "

" Never pick a fight with people who buy ink by the barrel. "

" No sinner is ever saved after the first twenty minutes of a sermon. "

" A person who won't read has no advantage over one who can't read. "

" Repartee is something we think of twenty-four hours too late. "

" I came in with Halley's Comet in 1835. It is coming again next year, and I expect to go out with it. It will be the greatest disappointment of my life if I don't go out with Halley's Comet. The Almighty has said, no doubt: 'Now here are these two unaccountable freaks; they came in together, they must go out together.' "

" The wit knows that his place is at the tail of a procession. "

" Wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been. "

" India has 2,000,000 gods and worships them all. In religion, all other countries are paupers; India is the only millionaire. "

" The most interesting information comes from children, for they tell all they know and then stop. "

" Man is the only animal that blushes - or needs to. "

" Truth is stranger than fiction, but it is because Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities; Truth isn't. "

" She was not quite what you would call refined. She was not quite what you would call unrefined. She was the kind of person that keeps a parrot. "

" Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about. "

" Better a broken promise than none at all. "

" I have never taken any exercise, except sleeping and resting, and I never intend to take any. "

" Let us endeavor so to live so that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry. "