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" India has 2,000,000 gods and worships them all. In religion, all other countries are paupers; India is the only millionaire. "

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" Noise proves nothing. Often a hen who has merely laid an egg cackles as if she laid an asteroid. "

" All generalizations are false, including this one. "

Generalizations

" It is easier to stay out than get out. "

" The secret of getting ahead is getting started. "

Getting Started

" If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything. "

" The finest clothing made is a person's own skin, but, of course, society demands something more than this. "

" Prosperity is the best protector of principle. "

" There is no distinctly American criminal class - except Congress. "

" Work is a necessary evil to be avoided. "

" The more you explain it, the more I don't understand it. "

" When red-haired people are above a certain social grade their hair is auburn. "

" Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect. "

" God made the Idiot for practice, and then He made the School Board. "

" When people do not respect us we are sharply offended; yet in his private heart no man much respects himself. "

" Action speaks louder than words but not nearly as often. "

" Truth is the most valuable thing we have. Let us economize it. "

" Wit is the sudden marriage of ideas which, before their union, were not perceived to have any relation. "

" Against the assault of laughter, nothing can stand. "

" There are lies, damned lies and statistics. "

" Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see. "

" Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter. "

" Ideally a book would have no order to it, and the reader would have to discover his own. "

" Man will do many things to get himself loved, he will do all things to get himself envied. "

" Name the greatest of all inventors. Accident. "

" It is better to deserve honors and not have them than to have them and not deserve them. "

" I came in with Halley's Comet in 1835. It is coming again next year, and I expect to go out with it. It will be the greatest disappointment of my life if I don't go out with Halley's Comet. The Almighty has said, no doubt: 'Now here are these two unaccountable freaks; they came in together, they must go out together.' "

" If it's your job to eat a frog, it's best to do it first thing in the morning. And If it's your job to eat two frogs, it's best to eat the biggest one first. "

" Let us endeavor so to live so that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry. "

" Be careless in your dress if you must, but keep a tidy soul. "

" Education consists mainly of what we have unlearned. "