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" It takes one woman twenty years to make a man of her son - and another woman twenty minutes to make a fool of him. "

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" You will never win if you never begin. "

" Telling lies is a fault in a boy, an art in a lover, an accomplishment in a bachelor, and second-nature in a married man. "

" In olden times sacrifices were made at the altar - a practice which is still continued. "

" Wedding: the point at which a man stops toasting a woman and begins roasting her. "

" Variety is the spice of love. "

" It is easier to keep half a dozen lovers guessing than to keep one lover after he has stopped guessing. "

" Falling in love consists merely in uncorking the imagination and bottling the common sense. "

Falling In Love

" Failing to be there when a man wants her is the greatest sin a woman can commit - except being there when he doesn't want her. "

" To be happy with a man you must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be happy with a woman you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all. "

" Love, like a chicken salad or restaurant hash, must be taken with blind faith or it loses its flavor. "

" A man never knows how to say goodbye; a woman never knows when to say it. "

" Home is any four walls that enclose the right person. "

" When two people decide to get a divorce, it isn't a sign that they 'don't understand' one another, but a sign that they have, at last, begun to. "

" Life begins at 40 - but so do fallen arches, rheumatism, faulty eyesight, and the tendency to tell a story to the same person, three or four times. "

" Jealousy is the tie that binds, and binds, and binds. "

" The hardest task in a girl's life is to prove to a man that his intentions are serious. "

" In love, somehow, a man's heart is always either exceeding the speed limit, or getting parked in the wrong place. "

" Between lovers a little confession is a dangerous thing. "

" When a girl marries, she exchanges the attentions of many men for the inattention of one. "

" A man snatches the first kiss, pleads for the second, demands the third, takes the fourth, accepts the fifth - and endures all the rest. "

" Why does a man take it for granted that a girl who flirts with him wants him to kiss her - when, nine times out of ten, she only wants him to want to kiss her? "

" After marriage, a woman's sight becomes so keen that she can see right through her husband without looking at him, and a man's so dull that he can look right through his wife without seeing her. "

" Somehow a bachelor never quite gets over the idea that he is a thing of beauty and a boy forever. "

" Nowadays love is a matter of chance, matrimony a matter of money and divorce a matter of course. "

" Ever since Eve started it all by offering Adam the apple, woman's punishment has been to supply a man with food then suffer the consequences when it disagrees with him. "

" Marriage is the miracle that transforms a kiss from a pleasure into a duty. "

" The woman who appeals to a man's vanity may stimulate him, the woman who appeals to his heart may attract him, but it is the woman who appeals to his imagination who gets him. "

" A man's heart may have a secret sanctuary where only one woman may enter, but it is full of little anterooms which are seldom vacant. "

" Woman: the peg on which the wit hangs his jest, the preacher his text, the cynic his grouch and the sinner his justification. "

" There's so much saint in the worst of them, and so much devil in the best of them, that a woman who's married to one of them, has nothing to learn of the rest of them. "