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" In love, somehow, a man's heart is always either exceeding the speed limit, or getting parked in the wrong place. "

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" After marriage, a woman's sight becomes so keen that she can see right through her husband without looking at him, and a man's so dull that he can look right through his wife without seeing her. "

" Love, like a chicken salad or restaurant hash, must be taken with blind faith or it loses its flavor. "

" In olden times sacrifices were made at the altar - a practice which is still continued. "

" After a few years of marriage a man can look right at a woman without seeing her and a woman can see right through a man without looking at him. "

" Marriage is the miracle that transforms a kiss from a pleasure into a duty. "

" The woman who appeals to a man's vanity may stimulate him, the woman who appeals to his heart may attract him, but it is the woman who appeals to his imagination who gets him. "

" Home is any four walls that enclose the right person. "

" A man is like a cat; chase him and he will run - sit still and ignore him and he'll come purring at your feet. "

" Failing to be there when a man wants her is the greatest sin a woman can commit - except being there when he doesn't want her. "

" A man snatches the first kiss, pleads for the second, demands the third, takes the fourth, accepts the fifth - and endures all the rest. "

" Nowadays love is a matter of chance, matrimony a matter of money and divorce a matter of course. "

" Why does a man take it for granted that a girl who flirts with him wants him to kiss her - when, nine times out of ten, she only wants him to want to kiss her? "

" Some women can be fooled all of the time, and all women can be fooled some of the time, but the same woman can't be fooled by the same man in the same way more than half of the time. "

" There's so much saint in the worst of them, and so much devil in the best of them, that a woman who's married to one of them, has nothing to learn of the rest of them. "

" It takes a woman twenty years to make a man of her son, and another woman twenty minutes to make a fool of him. "

" Telling lies is a fault in a boy, an art in a lover, an accomplishment in a bachelor, and second-nature in a married man. "

" Before marriage, a man declares that he would lay down his life to serve you; after marriage, he won't even lay down his newspaper to talk to you. "

" Variety is the spice of love. "

" Falling in love consists merely in uncorking the imagination and bottling the common sense. "

Falling In Love

" Ever since Eve started it all by offering Adam the apple, woman's punishment has been to supply a man with food then suffer the consequences when it disagrees with him. "

" It takes one woman twenty years to make a man of her son - and another woman twenty minutes to make a fool of him. "

" Between lovers a little confession is a dangerous thing. "

" When a man spends his time giving his wife criticism and advice instead of compliments, he forgets that it was not his good judgment, but his charming manners, that won her heart. "

" Somehow a bachelor never quite gets over the idea that he is a thing of beauty and a boy forever. "

" The tenderest spot in a man's make-up is sometimes the bald spot on top of his head. "

" Woman: the peg on which the wit hangs his jest, the preacher his text, the cynic his grouch and the sinner his justification. "

" When a girl marries, she exchanges the attentions of many men for the inattention of one. "

" Wedding: the point at which a man stops toasting a woman and begins roasting her. "

" A bachelor never quite gets over the idea that he is a thing of beauty and a boy forever. "

" A man never knows how to say goodbye; a woman never knows when to say it. "