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" It takes a woman twenty years to make a man of her son, and another woman twenty minutes to make a fool of him. "

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" Before marriage, a man declares that he would lay down his life to serve you; after marriage, he won't even lay down his newspaper to talk to you. "

" A man snatches the first kiss, pleads for the second, demands the third, takes the fourth, accepts the fifth - and endures all the rest. "

" A bachelor never quite gets over the idea that he is a thing of beauty and a boy forever. "

" There are people whose watch stops at a certain hour and who remain permanently at that age. "

" Home is any four walls that enclose the right person. "

" A wise woman puts a grain of sugar into everything she says to a man, and takes a grain of salt with everything he says to her. "

" Ever since Eve started it all by offering Adam the apple, woman's punishment has been to supply a man with food then suffer the consequences when it disagrees with him. "

" After a few years of marriage a man can look right at a woman without seeing her and a woman can see right through a man without looking at him. "

" After marriage, a woman's sight becomes so keen that she can see right through her husband without looking at him, and a man's so dull that he can look right through his wife without seeing her. "

" Nowadays love is a matter of chance, matrimony a matter of money and divorce a matter of course. "

" Some women can be fooled all of the time, and all women can be fooled some of the time, but the same woman can't be fooled by the same man in the same way more than half of the time. "

" Falling in love consists merely in uncorking the imagination and bottling the common sense. "

Falling In Love

" Love, the quest; marriage, the conquest; divorce, the inquest. "

" In olden times sacrifices were made at the altar - a practice which is still continued. "

" When a girl marries, she exchanges the attentions of many men for the inattention of one. "

" Don't waste time trying to break a man's heart; be satisfied if you can just manage to chip it in a brand new place. "

" Failing to be there when a man wants her is the greatest sin a woman can commit - except being there when he doesn't want her. "

" Never trust a husband too far, nor a bachelor too near. "

" Woman: the peg on which the wit hangs his jest, the preacher his text, the cynic his grouch and the sinner his justification. "

" There's so much saint in the worst of them, and so much devil in the best of them, that a woman who's married to one of them, has nothing to learn of the rest of them. "

" A man never knows how to say goodbye; a woman never knows when to say it. "

" When you see what some women marry, you realize how they must hate to work for a living. "

" Between lovers a little confession is a dangerous thing. "

" A husband is what is left of a lover, after the nerve has been extracted. "

" Jealousy is the tie that binds, and binds, and binds. "

" The follies which a man regrets the most in his life are those which he didn't commit when he had the opportunity. "

" Marriage is the miracle that transforms a kiss from a pleasure into a duty. "

" When a man spends his time giving his wife criticism and advice instead of compliments, he forgets that it was not his good judgment, but his charming manners, that won her heart. "

" It is easier to keep half a dozen lovers guessing than to keep one lover after he has stopped guessing. "

" When two people decide to get a divorce, it isn't a sign that they 'don't understand' one another, but a sign that they have, at last, begun to. "