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" People will tell you anything but what they do is always the truth. "

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" Accuse a person of breaking all Ten Commandments, and you've written the promo blurb for the dust cover of his tell-all memoir. "

Ten Commandments

" I rarely meet a politician that I don't like personally. They are generally well endowed with charm. Therein lies the danger. "

" The bar is set pretty low if you want to be a hip, accessible conservative. "

" As a longtime former resident of 15 years in Washington, I wish that everybody would stay off the Mall with their political cause so that we can get out there, you know, and play flag football or Frisbee, or walk the dog or something - you know, which is, you know, what the National Mall should be for, in my personal opinion. "

" There is only one thing that gives me hope as a Republican, and that is the Democrats. It's going to be hard to do a worse job running American than the Republicans have, but if anybody can do it, it's the Democrats. "

" Russians not only vehemently despise blacks, they believe Africa begins at the Ukraine border. "

" The idea of a news broadcast once was to find someone with information and broadcast it. The idea now is to find someone with ignorance and spread it around. "

" Popular culture has become engorged, broadening and thickening until it's the only culture anyone notices. "

Popular Culture

" I have never been to a museum in Hong Kong, or a movie or a play. I've never gone club-hopping. I've never taken the tram to Victoria Peak. "

" Never wear anything that panics the cat. "

" Now, do I think the baby boomers tend to be self-absorbed? I do. "

" I don't even know which end of a computer one is supposed to gaze into. I've never used a computer. "

" More modern poetry is written than read. "

" People love to be told what they know already. "

" I'm a member of the 1960s generation. We didn't have any wisdom. "

" Like most sensible people, you probably lost interest in modern art about the time that Julian Schnabel was painting broken pieces of the crockery that his wife had thrown at him for painting broken pieces of crockery instead of painting the bathroom and hall. "

" The real purpose of welfare is to get rid of poor people entirely. Everybody knows welfare has bad effects; that's the point. "

" Even very young children need to be informed about dying. Explain the concept of death very carefully to your child. This will make threatening him with it much more effective. "

" Soldiers are not policemen, and it's very unfair, even for those soldiers who have some police training, to burden them with police duties. It's not what they're trained for, or equipped for. "

" Political leaders are expert at saying nothing. "

" College professors used to be badly paid and worth it. Colleges used to be modest institutions; they should go back to being modest institutions. "

" America's public schools have served their purpose. Free and compulsory education was good for a somewhat unpromising young nation. "

" The 20th century was a test bed for big ideas - fascism, communism, the atomic bomb. "

" A friend of mine at the American Enterprise Institute says there are two parties: the silly party and the stupid party. I'm too old for the silly party, so I had to join the stupid party. "

" Californians devised a system of electricity sales that ignored every dimension of the free market. "

" Californians are people who insist on growing their own vegetables, but they won't dig up the pretty lawn, won't plant anything for fear of getting dirty, and they use fragrant bath salts from The Body Shop instead of smelly compost. "

" Jimmy Carter was - he still - he remains to this day America's most ex of ex-presidents. You just can't believe that we elected this doofus. He was a bright enough guy and sort of well-meaning. But he was about as prepared to be president of the United States as your goofy old uncle, you know, the one that memorises baseball statistics. "

" There is only one basic human right, the right to do as you damn well please. And with it comes the only basic human duty, the duty to take the consequences. "

" No doubt the ridiculous politicians are right to like politics. They have found careers in which success can be achieved by being ridiculous. Imagine Jimmy Carter or George W. Bush rising to the top of any other profession. "

" Liberals are always proposing perfectly insane ideas, laws that will make everybody happy, laws that will make everything right, make us live forever, and all be rich. Conservatives are never that stupid. "