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" Reality is nothing but a collective hunch. "
Lily Tomlin
Hunch
Collective
Reality
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" What I appreciate is acknowledging to the audience that I think they have brains. "
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" If you read a lot of books you are considered well read. But if you watch a lot of TV, you're not considered well viewed. "
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" The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat. "
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" We don't care. We don't have to. We're the phone company. "
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" When I was 9 or 10, I had a ten-cent business: I would walk your dog for a dime, go to the store for a dime, empty your garbage for a dime - and then I could use the money to buy tricks at the magic store. "
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Dog
Walk
Money
" It's my belief we developed language because of our deep inner need to complain. "
Lily Tomlin
Deep
Need
Complain
" I was always drawn to more the social-expression-of-culture types. "
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Always
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" Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain. "
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Need
Man
Complain
" You know being relevant or coming up with something interesting, funny to say about what's current is just as hard as it might ever be depending on the serendipity of it all. "
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Hard
Interesting
You
" Instead of working for the survival of the fittest, we should be working for the survival of the wittiest - then we can all die laughing. "
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Laughing
Working
Then
" I think my politics are just inclined to be empathetic and humanistic. I grew up with so many different kinds of people with different politics, different religion, no religion, no politics, education, no education, and I was infatuated with all of them. "
Lily Tomlin
Politics
Education
People
" Why isn't there a special name for the tops of your feet? "
Lily Tomlin
Feet
Why
Special
" Don't be afraid of missing opportunities. Behind every failure is an opportunity somebody wishes they had missed. "
Lily Tomlin
Failure
Had
Opportunities
" We are all in this together, by ourselves. "
Lily Tomlin
Ourselves
Together
" I always wondered why somebody doesn't do something about that. Then I realized I was somebody. "
Lily Tomlin
Always
Somebody
Something
" What is reality, anyway? Just a collective hunch. "
Lily Tomlin
Hunch
Just
Anyway
" What if it's boring - or if it's not boring, it might be too revealing, or worse, it might be too revealing and still be boring. "
Lily Tomlin
Worse
Still
Boring
" But there are too many people that make so much money at the cost of lives of other humans and for no reason but to make the money. "
Lily Tomlin
Money
Cost
Much
" We're all in this alone. "
Lily Tomlin
Alone
" The best mind-altering drug is the truth. "
Lily Tomlin
Best
Truth
" I personally think we developed language because of our deep need to complain. "
Lily Tomlin
Complain
Think
Need
" Creating characters is just another way to express a type and put that type to use. "
Lily Tomlin
Characters
Use
Just
" If you read a lot of books, you're considered well-read. But if you watch a lot of TV, you're not considered well-viewed. "
Lily Tomlin
You
Books
Lot
" I grew up in a time when women didn't really do comedy. You had to be homely, overweight, an old maid, all that. You had to play a stereotype, because very attractive women were not supposed to be funny - because it's powerful; it's a threat. "
Lily Tomlin
Time
Women
Funny
" The road to success is always under construction. "
Lily Tomlin
Success
Construction
Road
" I especially love 'Web Therapy' and I did 'Eastbound and Down' too. I had a lot of fun doing that. "
Lily Tomlin
Doing
Love
Fun
" I like a teacher who gives you something to take home to think about besides homework. "
Lily Tomlin
Homework
Teacher
You
" Reality is the leading cause of stress among those in touch with it. "
Lily Tomlin
Leading
Cause
Touch
" There's so much plastic in this culture that vinyl leopard skin is becoming an endangered synthetic. "
Lily Tomlin
Plastic
Skin
Culture
" Ninety eight percent of the adults in this country are decent, hardworking, honest Americans. It's the other lousy two percent that get all the publicity. But then, we elected them. "
Lily Tomlin
Government
Two
Decent