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" Reality is the leading cause of stress among those in touch with it. "

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" Things are going to get a lot worse before they get worse. "

" No matter how cynical you become, it's never enough to keep up. "

" I never officially came out in any kind of really public way. I just always lived very simply and openly, but the press has never made a big fuss about me or said anything to me. "

" I especially love 'Web Therapy' and I did 'Eastbound and Down' too. I had a lot of fun doing that. "

" If you read a lot of books you are considered well read. But if you watch a lot of TV, you're not considered well viewed. "

" We don't care. We don't have to. We're the phone company. "

" For fast-acting relief try slowing down. "

" I guess if people couldn't profit from war I don't think there would be war. "

" But there are too many people that make so much money at the cost of lives of other humans and for no reason but to make the money. "

" Why isn't there a special name for the tops of your feet? "

" What if it's boring - or if it's not boring, it might be too revealing, or worse, it might be too revealing and still be boring. "

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" I guess that's one of the reasons that you do it - work all the time - because it's sort of a high to find something that really works. "

" Instead of working for the survival of the fittest, we should be working for the survival of the wittiest - then we can all die laughing. "

" Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain. "

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" I always wondered why somebody doesn't do something about that. Then I realized I was somebody. "

" The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat. "

" There's so much plastic in this culture that vinyl leopard skin is becoming an endangered synthetic. "

" I like a teacher who gives you something to take home to think about besides homework. "

" We are all in this together, by ourselves. "

" Sometimes I feel like a figment of my own imagination. "

" Don't be afraid of missing opportunities. Behind every failure is an opportunity somebody wishes they had missed. "

" Remember we're all in this alone. "

" Creating characters is just another way to express a type and put that type to use. "

" We're all in this alone. "

" Why is it that when we talk to God we're said to be praying but when God talks to us we're schizophrenic? "

" I worry that the person who thought up Muzak may be thinking up something else. "

" Sometimes I worry about being a success in a mediocre world. "