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" Zero-sum thinking is an obsession of mine, but mostly in economics. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Economics
Mine
Obsession
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" Feeling good about government is like looking on the bright side of any catastrophe. When you quit looking on the bright side, the catastrophe is still there. "
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" Of all the American educational system's problems, none is more severe than the academic year beginning before Labor Day. "
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" Fortunately, I'm married to someone who's a pretty excellent parent! "
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" The people who despise America are the editors of the 'New Statesman.' Their green-card applications must have been turned down. "
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" When the government runs out of lenders, it can do something that households are forbidden to do: print money. "
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" Always read something that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it. "
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" To mistrust science and deny the validity of scientific method is to resign your job as a human. You'd better go look for work as a plant or wild animal. "
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Work
Job
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" The good thing about SUVs is they have storage. "
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Thing
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" There is no 20-year period in American history when stocks lost money. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Money
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" Chinese economic development has cost many American workers their jobs. That's the price of progress. "
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" There are selves too big for one person to contain. You cannot call them selfish. There is nothing -ish about such selves. They are the self, as it were, itself. "
P. J. O'Rourke
You
Nothing
Big
" In midlife, we're as dumb as we get. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Get
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" Stupid is a great force in human affairs. "
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Force
Affairs
Great
" I know quite a few fellow members of the news analysis and commentary business, and I have it from the highest-placed sources, on the record, that each and every one of our children is a genius. "
P. J. O'Rourke
News
Know
Business
" As a nation, Kuwait has been, arguably, free of freedom itself. Claimed in turn by Constantinople, Riyadh, and Baghdad, Kuwait has survived by playing Turks off Persians, Arabs off one another, and the English off everyone. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Free
Freedom
Nation
" Californians devised a system of electricity sales that ignored every dimension of the free market. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Electricity
System
Sales
" Charles McCarry is the best modern writer on the subject of intrigue - by the breadth of Alan Furst, by the fathom of Eric Ambler, by any measure. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Measure
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Best
" If you are young and you drink a great deal it will spoil your health, slow your mind, make you fat - in other words, turn you into an adult. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Health
Great
Mind
" You can learn all about the human condition from covering the crime beat in a big city - you don't need to go to Beirut for that - but a foreign correspondent begins to understand poverty from a different perspective. "
P. J. O'Rourke
City
You
Poverty
" My working hypothesis is that stupidity in popular culture is a constant. Popular culture cannot get more stupid. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Stupid
Get
Culture
" Banning paper and plastic and making shoppers carry their groceries home in their mouths like dogs is just the thing to make a little tin humanist in the Obama West Wing think he's admiral of the Uzbek Navy. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Navy
Dogs
Home
" Jeans fit the mature male one of two ways, both dirigible in nature. You make a public impression that's either Hindenburg or Goodyear blimp. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Two
Mature
You
" I knew Hunter Thompson since the '70s, and I loved him, but he would wear me out as I got older. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Got
Older
Me
" Democrats hate Democrats most of all. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Democrats
Most
Hate
" When you're a war correspondent, the reader is for you because the reader is saying, 'Gee, I wouldn't want to be doing that.' They're on your side. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Saying
Doing
Side
" Is Bill Clinton so good at politics, or are other politicians so bad? "
P. J. O'Rourke
Other
Good
Bad
" Of course, no one wants to ban the vote. Voting should remain available for sporting and recreational purposes. But certain types of votes clearly should be curtailed - 'assault votes,' for example, in which the only purpose of the vote is to harm others. "
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Others
Voting
Example
" Wealth brings great benefits to the world. Rich people are heros. "
P. J. O'Rourke
World
Great
People
" In thirteen years, every aspect of the universe can change - ask a thirteen-year-old. "
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Change
Years
Universe
" Mikhail Gorbachev was the Jimmy Carter of the Communist bloc. The Russians hate him. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Hate
Carter
Communist