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" Social media for the majority of companies is not about helping customers or improving products. "

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" There is always more demand for great content then there will be great content to satisfy it. "

" Publishing companies are like schoolyard bullies that can't even fight well. "

" Most of my success, I feel, comes from being a good editor as opposed to a great writer. "

" Frankly, I'd rather make a little bit less money if it means living in a better world for books and publishing in the future. "

" A personal brand is relevant to people who sell or create something relevant to who they are as a person. If you're not in that boat, which most people are not, personal branding makes no sense. "

" I don't even pursue girls anymore. I mean, I could obviously still pursue girls. It's not like I can't. But I don't have to pursue girls anymore. Girls come to me. "

" The point of psychoanalysis is to really understand the roots of your behavior. Understand why you are doing the things you're doing - and connect your unconscious to your conscious. "

" I want someone who is my partner in life. Who supports me, and I support her. I can share all my experiences in life with her, and she can share hers back with me. Not only do we love each other, but we accept, embrace, nurture, and care for each other. "

" General reader feedback is usually pretty worthless. 99% of people give feedback that is irrelevant, stupid, or just flat out wrong. But that 1% of people who give good feedback are invaluable. "

" No one wants to read a story where I saw a cute puppy on the street and I petted it. I mean, that's not funny. I only write about the funny stuff. "

" The Big Five publishing companies are dinosaurs trying to survive in a post-meteor world. They won't. "

" I'm a decent-looking guy, but I've never walked into a room and got a girl because of how I looked. Look, I'm never excluded because of my looks. I just don't stand out. "

" If you don't have a job right now, and you have a computer and a basic intelligence level, I guarantee you can get a great job, paying really well, in less than three months. How? Learn to program. "

" The haters always scream the loudest. "

" My writing is authentic, and whatever happens in my life is what I write about. "

" It is hard for me to be vulnerable, because I never learned how to do that. I was never vulnerable in a safe way. "

" There is no number or level of success that would make me think, 'Wow, I didn't think that was possible.' "

" Even if I was a Republican, George Bush would have pushed me out of that party. "

" Corporate tweets are like one robot talking to another. "

" I have tons of fans in Canada. I've sold hundreds of thousands of books there. "

" Anything that reflects the human condition back on humans in the entertainment medium is art. "

" I sold a million books because I have a lot of fans, not because people hate me. "

" Think about it: If you don't have any actual, tangible skills, then how can you do anything? You may be laughing and nodding, but do you realize how few people, when asked the basic question, 'What can you do?' stumble on the answer and have nothing to say? Most people. "

" If you make comedy, if you try and make comedy where no one gets upset or offended, you're going to fail. "

" I'm never going to be Tolstoy. "

" The narcissist act is not an act. I actually am a narcissist, very much so. My world revolves around me. "

" Books are so cheap and easy to get that people don't bother stealing them, which is the essential rule of piracy that the music business learned much too late. "

" I try to explain to people that the only way to be cool is to be who you truly are, and the only way to live life is to do the things that you want to do and be the person that you want to be no matter who that is or what that is or how you have to do it. That's the only way you can be genuinely happy. "

" Women always want the guy that other women want. "

" Calling one thing 'literature' and another 'fiction' is a way to create status where there is none. "