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" If you make comedy, if you try and make comedy where no one gets upset or offended, you're going to fail. "

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" Calling one thing 'literature' and another 'fiction' is a way to create status where there is none. "

" There is no number or level of success that would make me think, 'Wow, I didn't think that was possible.' "

" Usually, whatever people's particular political leaning is, they either think I'm just like them or the opposite. "

" There is always more demand for great content then there will be great content to satisfy it. "

" The haters always scream the loudest. "

" Corporate tweets are like one robot talking to another. "

" Helping reproductive services doesn't just help women in isolation. It helps men just as much. "

" Books are so cheap and easy to get that people don't bother stealing them, which is the essential rule of piracy that the music business learned much too late. "

" I've never really had a media edifice supporting me. "

" Anything that reflects the human condition back on humans in the entertainment medium is art. "

" If you don't have a job right now, and you have a computer and a basic intelligence level, I guarantee you can get a great job, paying really well, in less than three months. How? Learn to program. "

" If your parents ignored you, or if they are just not emotionally available, or if they yell a lot, that is a type of trauma. "

" You know, even big-time academics kind of have groupies. Anyone with any sort of fame. So, like, in your micro-world, or in your niche, you're kind of like a celebrity. "

" Think about it: If you don't have any actual, tangible skills, then how can you do anything? You may be laughing and nodding, but do you realize how few people, when asked the basic question, 'What can you do?' stumble on the answer and have nothing to say? Most people. "

" General reader feedback is usually pretty worthless. 99% of people give feedback that is irrelevant, stupid, or just flat out wrong. But that 1% of people who give good feedback are invaluable. "

" I want someone who is my partner in life. Who supports me, and I support her. I can share all my experiences in life with her, and she can share hers back with me. Not only do we love each other, but we accept, embrace, nurture, and care for each other. "

" I always laugh when people call me a misogynist. I... love women! Everything I do is to impress women. And if I hated women, why would half my fans be women? "

" Obviously, I love Japanese food. My favorite TV show of all time, without exception, is 'Iron Chef.' Not the stupid American version; 'Iron Chef' Japanese; the real one, the one that was on in Japan... my DVR for years was set to record almost every single 'Iron Chef' episode. "

" I have tons of fans in Canada. I've sold hundreds of thousands of books there. "

" Social media for the majority of companies is not about helping customers or improving products. "

" No one has probably helped me more with my narcissism than my dog. "

" I was not developmentally disabled, but didn't mature at the same rate other kids did. "

" I don't even pursue girls anymore. I mean, I could obviously still pursue girls. It's not like I can't. But I don't have to pursue girls anymore. Girls come to me. "

" The Big Five publishing companies are dinosaurs trying to survive in a post-meteor world. They won't. "

" Women always want the guy that other women want. "

" Having a soft major is nowhere near the career death sentence that so many make it out to be. The world is changing, and the U.S. economy with it. Our economy is shifting to a service- and information-based economy, and soft majors are already becoming more and more valuable. "

" I'm a human. Every human is flawed. I might be flawed in different ways than some people, or worse ways than some people, or better ways than some people. "

" A personal brand is relevant to people who sell or create something relevant to who they are as a person. If you're not in that boat, which most people are not, personal branding makes no sense. "

" If you like to argue just for the sake of being contentious, you shouldn't pick a job based on this unresolved emotional issue of yours, you should get counseling for it. "

" Publishing companies are like schoolyard bullies that can't even fight well. "