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" I think every high school student who was alert during the early '60s got very embittered by the slow progress and the violence surrounding the Civil Rights Movement. "

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" I'm too tough and sensitive to have to have some pubescent twerp with his mom's earring in his tongue, who combs his hair with Redi-Whip and has an Ani DiFranco tattoo on his shin, come show me how a computer works. "

P. J. O'Rourke

Tongue

Tough

" Never be unfaithful to a lover, except with your wife. "

" I read good. I was an English major. "

" When I board an airplane these days, all the middle-aged men are dressed like me - when I was an 8-year-old. They're in shorts and T-shirts. And it's not just on airplanes. It's in business offices, teachers' lounges, and churches. "

P. J. O'Rourke

Teachers

Men

" We've come into the world of '1984,' but it turns out to be '1984'-Lite. "

" Distracting a politician from governing is like distracting a bear from eating your baby. "

" Sometimes the right response to evil is an appeal to powerful and effective social organization - an appeal to civilization itself. "

" When I'm in the car, I want the only one shouting to be me. "

" Computers seem a little too adaptively flexible, like the strange natives, odd societies, and head cases we study in the social sciences. There's more opposable thumb in the digital world than I care for; it's awfully close to human. "

" I understand Twitter has become popular among politicians. This technology allows them to stay in perpetual contact with their constituents. The electorate now has instant information about what politicians have been up to. "

" Opinions of language are as interesting as opinions of arithmetic. "

" I was very much in favor of the Iraq invasion. "

" Is Bill Clinton so good at politics, or are other politicians so bad? "

" Horses and horsepower alike are about status and being cool. "

" War diminishes both civil and economic rights. "

" The problem in Afghanistan is really not so much land as water. It's a dry country with ample amounts of water running through it, but not to good enough effect. "

" Accuse a person of breaking all Ten Commandments, and you've written the promo blurb for the dust cover of his tell-all memoir. "

" Guns are the ultimate bulwark against government misbehavior. "

" Lack of romance is my real objection to writing on a computer. "

" Our earliest evidence of government, in the ruins of Babylon and Egypt, shows nothing but ziggurats and pyramids of wasted taxpayer money, the TARP funds and shovel-ready stimulus programs of their day. "

" A penny will not buy a penny postcard or a penny whistle or a single piece of penny candy. It will not even, if you're managing the U.S. Mint, buy a penny. "

" Thank you, Occupy Wall Street. With your vivid example of anticapitalist squalor, I've been able to convince all three of my children to become investment bankers. "

" Banning paper and plastic and making shoppers carry their groceries home in their mouths like dogs is just the thing to make a little tin humanist in the Obama West Wing think he's admiral of the Uzbek Navy. "

" Philosophy was once considered science. "

" Because of their size, parents may be difficult to discipline properly. "

" Space has always been confusing to politics. "

" No humorist is under any obligation to provide answers and probably if you were to delve into the literary history of humour it's probably all about not providing answers because the humorist essentially says: this is the way things are. "

" In Henry Adams, I discovered not only the prototype of the modern thinker but also someone who is more interesting: a viper-toothed, puling, supercilious crank, thwarted in ambition, aging gracelessly, mad at the cosmos, and ashamed of his own jejune ideals. He is nevertheless very dear to me. "

P. J. O'Rourke

Aging

Mad

" I don't mind America becoming a Third World country. The weather is better in the Third World than it is where I live in New Hampshire. And household help will be much cheaper. "

" Writing is agony. I hate it. "