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" The late, great Joan Rivers actually gave me so much advice, and she was so nice to me before she passed. "

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" Being a female comic and getting a Comedy Central special is an honor because not a lot of women get that. "

" I worked harder at my craft, and it took some time, but here I am today doing what I want to do, which is entertain people. "

" One day, we had a layoff at my job. And I went to my boss, and I said, 'Please save someone else's job. This is a win-win situation for the company and me - and just lay me off.' I did that in around 2003, and I never looked back. I became a full-time comic. "

" You men make up these rules, and now you get mad because I'm telling you what a real woman wants. She wants you to treat her like a lady if you want her to sit up there and put on all the lingerie! "

" I never wanted a traditional lifestyle. I'm not that kind of person. "

" I'll see something, and I'll go, 'Oh, wow, that's interesting,' because really, comedy comes from the truth. "

" I've been studying myself because I always want to improve. "

" My material reaches everyone. "

" I am a seasoned performer. "

" Mom was a nurse's aide. She worked in various hospitals. She took care of us that way, and we ate government cheese. I survived. "

" Seriously, I love my gays. They accept me, and I accept them. Imperfections and all, we accept each other. "

" It is harder to dress a bigger woman no matter what anybody wants to say. "

" I appreciate the audience for checking us as comics. "

" I'm fat, and I support fat celebrities, like Oprah. "

" I couldn't be where I am today if I had children. My focus would be on my children and home. And you can do it later in life. "

" I tend to be everybody's best friend, and it kind of goes over into my comedy. "

" Black women know that we've got to take care of it - so we take care of it. It's just embedded in us. "

" What helped was that my mother, even though we didn't have a lot of money... allowed me to take part in the Girl Scouts. "

" If you are a woman with your own money, you have confidence. You have the pick of the litter. "

" I'm hearing from fans about how they got out of an abusive relationship. That's why I tell people you've got to watch 'The Real.' We are about comedy and inspiration, but personal moments come up, and people are moved by it. "

" One of my dreams was to change the way women of color were seen on television. "

" People say they get a warmness from me. "

" Even when I was an engineer, I was a comic on my job. At birthday and holiday parties, I was the one scheduling and emceeing. If you work on your gift, and you're good, it will shine through. "

" That's the one thing I have to say to females. If you don't have a certain look, or if you look a certain way, they won't accept you. "

" When you're a plus-sized girl, belts are your best friends. I also love bright colors and skirts, to show my pretty knees. "

" I just do jokes about real situations, pure observation. "

" I used to be an engineer, and I was the worst engineer in the United States of America. That's why I became a comic. "

" Now AOL is the grandma of online Web services. I mean, we don't need it anymore. "

" I don't want to get married - I've been there and done that. So I know what I'm talking about when I say that. And for everybody has a different path - find out your path! And if you want to do it, don't let people make you feel inadequate because you wanted to do something that's different. "

" Men don't know how to act like men sometimes. Take the trash out. Open up the door. Rub my feet. I mean, it's a two-way street! "