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" The schools ain't what they used to be and never was. "
Will Rogers
Never
Schools
Used
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" Being a hero is about the shortest-lived profession on earth. "
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" A fool and his money are soon elected. "
Will Rogers
Politics
Soon
Money
" People are getting smarter nowadays; they are letting lawyers, instead of their conscience, be their guide. "
Will Rogers
People
Lawyers
Legal
" There are three kinds of men. The one that learns by reading. The few who learn by observation. The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence for themselves. "
Will Rogers
Rest
Learn
Men
" When you put down the good things you ought to have done, and leave out the bad ones you did do well, that's Memoirs. "
Will Rogers
You
Good
Down
" It's a good thing we don't get all the government we pay for. "
Will Rogers
Government
Good
Get
" The man with the best job in the country is the vice-president. All he has to do is get up every morning and say, 'How is the president?' "
Will Rogers
Job
Best
Country
" The 1928 Republican Convention opened with a prayer. If the Lord can see His way clear to bless the Republican Party the way it's been carrying on, then the rest of us ought to get it without even asking. "
Will Rogers
See
Rest
Prayer
" Make crime pay. Become a lawyer. "
Will Rogers
Crime
Pay
Make
" You can't say civilization don't advance... in every war they kill you in a new way. "
Will Rogers
Way
War
Say
" There is nothing so stupid as the educated man if you get him off the thing he was educated in. "
Will Rogers
Him
You
Stupid
" Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there. "
Will Rogers
Run
Right
You
" The more that learn to read the less learn how to make a living. That's one thing about a little education. It spoils you for actual work. The more you know the more you think somebody owes you a living. "
Will Rogers
Education
You
Work
" A difference of opinion is what makes horse racing and missionaries. "
Will Rogers
Horse
Opinion
Difference
" Now if there is one thing that we do worse than any other nation, it is try and manage somebody else's affairs. "
Will Rogers
Worse
Try
Than
" Everything is funny, as long as it's happening to somebody else. "
Will Rogers
Funny
Long
Everything
" Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie' until you can find a rock. "
Will Rogers
Rock
Nice
Find
" Worrying is like paying on a debt that may never come due. "
Will Rogers
Worrying
Come
Never
" On account of being a democracy and run by the people, we are the only nation in the world that has to keep a government four years, no matter what it does. "
Will Rogers
World
Democracy
Government
" Chaotic action is preferable to orderly inaction. "
Will Rogers
Chaotic
Orderly
Action
" If you ever injected truth into politics you have no politics. "
Will Rogers
Truth
Ever
You
" Ancient Rome declined because it had a Senate, now what's going to happen to us with both a House and a Senate? "
Will Rogers
Going
Us
Rome
" Prohibition is better than no liquor at all. "
Will Rogers
Better
Than
Prohibition
" I am not a member of any organized political party. I am a Democrat. "
Will Rogers
Funny
Political Party
Political
" Why don't they pass a constitutional amendment prohibiting anybody from learning anything? If it works as well as prohibition did, in five years Americans would be the smartest race of people on Earth. "
Will Rogers
Well
Earth
Learning
" A man only learns in two ways, one by reading, and the other by association with smarter people. "
Will Rogers
Man
Learning
Reading
" Don't let yesterday use up too much of today. "
Will Rogers
Up
Yesterday
Much
" The only time people dislike gossip is when you gossip about them. "
Will Rogers
You
Dislike
Gossip
" I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts. "
Will Rogers
Watch
Facts
Government
" The United States never lost a war or won a conference. "
Will Rogers
Conference
War
United