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" Being a hero is about the shortest-lived profession on earth. "
Will Rogers
About
Hero
Profession
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" A fool and his money are soon elected. "
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" We can't all be heroes, because somebody has to sit on the curb and applaud when they go by. "
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" In Hollywood the woods are full of people that learned to write but evidently can't read. If they could read their stuff, they'd stop writing. "
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" I read about eight newspapers in a day. When I'm in a town with only one newspaper, I read it eight times. "
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" An ignorant person is one who doesn't know what you have just found out. "
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" The 1928 Republican Convention opened with a prayer. If the Lord can see His way clear to bless the Republican Party the way it's been carrying on, then the rest of us ought to get it without even asking. "
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" There ought to be one day - just one - when there is open season on senators. "
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" One Ad is worth more to a paper than forty Editorials. "
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" Let advertisers spend the same amount of money improving their product that they do on advertising and they wouldn't have to advertise it. "
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" Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie' until you can find a rock. "
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" The more that learn to read the less learn how to make a living. That's one thing about a little education. It spoils you for actual work. The more you know the more you think somebody owes you a living. "
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" Make crime pay. Become a lawyer. "
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Crime
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Make
" We don't seem to be able to check crime, so why not legalize it and then tax it out of business? "
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" Even though you are on the right track - you will get run over if you just sit there. "
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Over
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" When you put down the good things you ought to have done, and leave out the bad ones you did do well, that's Memoirs. "
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Good
Down
" Don't let yesterday use up too much of today. "
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Up
Yesterday
Much
" You've got to go out on a limb sometimes because that's where the fruit is. "
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You
Sometimes
Got
" I'm not a real movie star. I've still got the same wife I started out with twenty-eight years ago. "
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Star
Started
Wife
" Alexander Hamilton started the U.S. Treasury with nothing, and that was the closest our country has ever been to being even. "
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Nothing
Country
Been
" If you ever injected truth into politics you have no politics. "
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Truth
Ever
You
" In Hollywood you can see things at night that are fast enough to be in the Olympics in the day time. "
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Fast
Enough
Time
" Worrying is like paying on a debt that may never come due. "
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Worrying
Come
Never
" I have a scheme for stopping war. It's this - no nation is allowed to enter a war till they have paid for the last one. "
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Paid
Last
War
" Buy land. They ain't making any more of the stuff. "
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Making
Stuff
Land
" What the country needs is dirtier fingernails and cleaner minds. "
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Country
Minds
Needs
" The movies are the only business where you can go out front and applaud yourself. "
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Business
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" A remark generally hurts in proportion to its truth. "
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Proportion
Hurts
Truth