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" The man with the best job in the country is the vice-president. All he has to do is get up every morning and say, 'How is the president?' "

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" Prohibition is better than no liquor at all. "

" It's not what you pay a man, but what he costs you that counts. "

" Anything important is never left to the vote of the people. We only get to vote on some man; we never get to vote on what he is to do. "

" I belong to no organized party. I am a Democrat. "

" Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save. "

" Instead of giving money to found colleges to promote learning, why don't they pass a constitutional amendment prohibiting anybody from learning anything? If it works as good as the Prohibition one did, why, in five years we would have the smartest race of people on earth. "

" Things in our country run in spite of government, not by aid of it. "

" You've got to go out on a limb sometimes because that's where the fruit is. "

" One Ad is worth more to a paper than forty Editorials. "

" It's easy being a humorist when you've got the whole government working for you. "

" The fellow that can only see a week ahead is always the popular fellow, for he is looking with the crowd. But the one that can see years ahead, he has a telescope but he can't make anybody believe that he has it. "

" Do the best you can, and don't take life too serious. "

" It isn't what we don't know that gives us trouble, it's what we know that ain't so. "

" I bet after seeing us, George Washington would sue us for calling him 'father.' "

" Our constitution protects aliens, drunks and U.S. Senators. "

" Politics is applesauce. "

" Chaotic action is preferable to orderly inaction. "

" Make crime pay. Become a lawyer. "

" The time to save is now. When a dog gets a bone, he doesn't go out and make a down payment on a bigger bone. He buries the one he's got. "

" A remark generally hurts in proportion to its truth. "

" Worrying is like paying on a debt that may never come due. "

" Democrats never agree on anything, that's why they're Democrats. If they agreed with each other, they would be Republicans. "

" The farmer has to be an optimist or he wouldn't still be a farmer. "

" When the Oakies left Oklahoma and moved to California, it raised the I.Q. of both states. "

" Don't let yesterday use up too much of today. "

" The only way you can beat the lawyers is to die with nothing. "

" We are all here for a spell, get all the good laughs you can. "

" Advertising is the art of convincing people to spend money they don't have for something they don't need. "

" People who fly into a rage always make a bad landing. "

" Get someone else to blow your horn and the sound will carry twice as far. "