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" Now if there is one thing that we do worse than any other nation, it is try and manage somebody else's affairs. "

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" Diplomats are just as essential to starting a war as soldiers are for finishing it... You take diplomacy out of war, and the thing would fall flat in a week. "

" There's only one thing that can kill the movies, and that's education. "

" The only way you can beat the lawyers is to die with nothing. "

" Democrats never agree on anything, that's why they're Democrats. If they agreed with each other, they would be Republicans. "

" If you want to be successful, it's just this simple. Know what you are doing. Love what you are doing. And believe in what you are doing. "

" If you ever injected truth into politics you have no politics. "

" People who fly into a rage always make a bad landing. "

" There ought to be one day - just one - when there is open season on senators. "

" In Hollywood the woods are full of people that learned to write but evidently can't read. If they could read their stuff, they'd stop writing. "

" Buy land. They ain't making any more of the stuff. "

" I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts. "

" There is nothing so stupid as the educated man if you get him off the thing he was educated in. "

" If Stupidity got us into this mess, then why can't it get us out? "

" If you make any money, the government shoves you in the creek once a year with it in your pockets, and all that don't get wet you can keep. "

" On account of being a democracy and run by the people, we are the only nation in the world that has to keep a government four years, no matter what it does. "

" Alexander Hamilton started the U.S. Treasury with nothing, and that was the closest our country has ever been to being even. "

" The worst thing that happens to you may be the best thing for you if you don't let it get the best of you. "

" Politics is applesauce. "

" An economist's guess is liable to be as good as anybody else's. "

" Chaotic action is preferable to orderly inaction. "

" When ignorance gets started it knows no bounds. "

" It's not what you pay a man, but what he costs you that counts. "

" When you put down the good things you ought to have done, and leave out the bad ones you did do well, that's Memoirs. "

" Let advertisers spend the same amount of money improving their product that they do on advertising and they wouldn't have to advertise it. "

" This country has come to feel the same when Congress is in session as when the baby gets hold of a hammer. "

" Why don't they pass a constitutional amendment prohibiting anybody from learning anything? If it works as well as prohibition did, in five years Americans would be the smartest race of people on Earth. "

" One Ad is worth more to a paper than forty Editorials. "

" The income tax has made liars out of more Americans than golf. "

" Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier 'n puttin' it back in. "

" The time to save is now. When a dog gets a bone, he doesn't go out and make a down payment on a bigger bone. He buries the one he's got. "