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" There are only two kinds of men; the dead and the deadly. "
Helen Rowland
Only
Men
Kinds
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" You will never win if you never begin. "
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" Before marriage, a man declares that he would lay down his life to serve you; after marriage, he won't even lay down his newspaper to talk to you. "
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Talk
Down
Life
" Life begins at 40 - but so do fallen arches, rheumatism, faulty eyesight, and the tendency to tell a story to the same person, three or four times. "
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" It takes one woman twenty years to make a man of her son - and another woman twenty minutes to make a fool of him. "
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" What a man calls his 'conscience' is merely the mental action that follows a sentimental reaction after too much wine or love. "
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Much
Action
Love
" France may claim the happiest marriages in the world, but the happiest divorces in the world are 'made in America.' "
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America
Claim
World
" After a few years of marriage a man can look right at a woman without seeing her and a woman can see right through a man without looking at him. "
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Marriage
Looking
Man
" Every man wants a woman to appeal to his better side, his nobler instincts, and his higher nature - and another woman to help him forget them. "
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Woman
Nature
Forget
" And verily, a woman need know but one man well, in order to understand all men; whereas a man may know all women and understand not one of them. "
Helen Rowland
Men
Know
Man
" Love, like a chicken salad or restaurant hash, must be taken with blind faith or it loses its flavor. "
Helen Rowland
Restaurant
Blind
Chicken
" In olden times sacrifices were made at the altar - a practice which is still continued. "
Helen Rowland
Practice
Made
Marriage
" It is easier to keep half a dozen lovers guessing than to keep one lover after he has stopped guessing. "
Helen Rowland
Guessing
Half
Lovers
" Between lovers a little confession is a dangerous thing. "
Helen Rowland
Lovers
Little
Confession
" Marriage is the miracle that transforms a kiss from a pleasure into a duty. "
Helen Rowland
Miracle
Pleasure
Kiss
" One man's folly is another man's wife. "
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Wife
Man
Funny
" When two people decide to get a divorce, it isn't a sign that they 'don't understand' one another, but a sign that they have, at last, begun to. "
Helen Rowland
Divorce
Understand
Two People
" After marriage, a woman's sight becomes so keen that she can see right through her husband without looking at him, and a man's so dull that he can look right through his wife without seeing her. "
Helen Rowland
Man
Looking
Woman
" A bachelor never quite gets over the idea that he is a thing of beauty and a boy forever. "
Helen Rowland
Boy
He
Never
" Falling in love consists merely in uncorking the imagination and bottling the common sense. "
Helen Rowland
Imagination
Falling In Love
Love
" A fool and her money are soon courted. "
Helen Rowland
Her
Money
Courted
" Wedding: the point at which a man stops toasting a woman and begins roasting her. "
Helen Rowland
Woman
Wedding
Begins
" Somehow a bachelor never quite gets over the idea that he is a thing of beauty and a boy forever. "
Helen Rowland
Forever
Bachelor
Beauty
" Nowadays love is a matter of chance, matrimony a matter of money and divorce a matter of course. "
Helen Rowland
Chance
Money
Love Is
" No man can understand why a woman shouldn't prefer a good reputation to a good time. "
Helen Rowland
Woman
Good
Man
" Love, the quest; marriage, the conquest; divorce, the inquest. "
Helen Rowland
Love
Marriage
Divorce
" Flirting is the gentle art of making a man feel pleased with himself. "
Helen Rowland
Making
Himself
Gentle
" A man can become so accustomed to the thought of his own faults that he will begin to cherish them as charming little 'personal characteristics.' "
Helen Rowland
Thought
Own
Man
" Home is any four walls that enclose the right person. "
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Home
Right
Right Person
" The tenderest spot in a man's make-up is sometimes the bald spot on top of his head. "
Helen Rowland
Man
Head
Bald
" A bride at her second marriage does not wear a veil. She wants to see what she is getting. "
Helen Rowland
See
Wedding
She