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" I can't be everything to everyone. Send me your specs. "
Mo Rocca
Send
Everything
Everyone
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" I hate homemade sweaters. "
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Sweaters
Homemade
" Generally I get up at around 7. But oftentimes, I'll be lolling in bed a little bit earlier - sometimes as early as 5:45 - filing in my mind all the things I have to get done. Which is, of course, totally unproductive. "
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Done
Bed
Mind
" When it comes to war, we focus more on the mainstream coverage of the event, rather than the event itself. People dying is never funny. Protest puppets are always funny. "
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Dying
War
People
" I wish I had played team sports. I think every kid should. Teamwork builds character - teaches people about leadership and cooperation. "
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Kid
Team
Leadership
" If I had a time machine I would go back 30 years and show up at my grandmother's apartment before the gargantuan meals she would serve and I would help her. "
Mo Rocca
Help
Back
Her
" One Christmas my father kept our tree up till March. He hated to see it go. I loved that. "
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Tree
Go
Father
" Look, not embracing the 'Today' show is soooo yesterday. "
Mo Rocca
Embracing
Show
Today
" I don't think everyone should vote. If you have to be dragged into the polls, carried into the polls and smelling salts have to be used, you probably shouldn't be voting. However, we shouldn't be putting up barriers to voting that target certain groups. "
Mo Rocca
Target
Think
You
" I'm always working on a few different stories at once, so there's always some really big coffee table book I'm carrying around. "
Mo Rocca
Book
Coffee
Table
" It's one of my favorite things to do, watch TV and stretch. I'm so flexible. I can put my legs behind my head. I want to be the most flexible person in the world. "
Mo Rocca
Want
Watch
World
" Politicians who wear little tennis socks with the balls at the back should not be taken seriously. "
Mo Rocca
Back
Who
Socks
" Digital television, satellite radio, videogames, iPods - so much media. Do books even matter anymore? "
Mo Rocca
Media
Matter
Television
" I think that Obama is very cool. And I think he's clever, and I think he can be witty. But I don't think he's funny in either the way that Reagan was funny - or John McCain and Dick Cheney are both funny in that ruthless, kind of mean way. "
Mo Rocca
Kind
Cool
Funny
" No, no, no separate but equal... never the twain shall meet. And the pendulum kept swinging and it came to rest in the bastard hybrid known as the Daily Show. "
Mo Rocca
Never
Show
Rest
" I was way too hyperactive to study for long. I would freak out, then crash, then be too tired to read or write. I really should have had less sugar. "
Mo Rocca
Study
Tired
Way
" I have a Keurig coffee maker, which is really kind of a luxury. It was given to me by an ex. I realized when I'm feeling sentimental, I'll gently, tenderly press the button. Then when I remember he dumped me, I punch it. "
Mo Rocca
Coffee
Luxury
Feeling
" Honestly we never lied to people about who we were. Usually the wackier interviews came to pass because the interview subjects, aware that we were Comedy Central, just wanted to get their stories out. "
Mo Rocca
Comedy
Never
People
" I still don't know how to cook and that's just unacceptable. "
Mo Rocca
Know
Still
How
" Homemade sweaters are always itchy. "
Mo Rocca
Itchy
Homemade
Always
" Christmas is a stocking stuffed with sugary goodness. "
Mo Rocca
Stocking
Goodness
Christmas
" The most important thing is to write material that YOU think is funny. If you don't think it's funny, but you're convinced that other people will think it is, well they won't. "
Mo Rocca
People
Important
You
" I was not a jock in high school. I know, you're shocked. "
Mo Rocca
School
Know
High
" I'd rather call myself a mischief-maker, an imp, rather than a satirist. Satirist sounds so self important. Plus no one is calling himself an imp right now. It makes me feel special. "
Mo Rocca
Myself
Self
Me
" I know a lot about a few things - mostly useless things. "
Mo Rocca
Things
Useless
Few
" A young imagination is bold, likes to make bigger leaps. It likes to, well, imagine that the dustbuster is a dinosaur; that the computer mouse is a hotrod; that the box is a cave; that the rawhide is a torch... or a baton... or something. "
Mo Rocca
Dinosaur
Bold
Cave
" Yes, I still love 'South Park,' but I also love morning TV now. "
Mo Rocca
Now
Morning
Love
" I am a kamikaze gadfly. "
Mo Rocca
I Am
Am
" It's interesting, because I tend to trust a man with big ears. "
Mo Rocca
Man
Big
Because
" If there's one thing that everyone can agree on, it's that, right or wrong, they hate the press. "
Mo Rocca
Hate
Right
Agree
" My sophomore year I spent exactly one day on the JV football team. It was the tryout day. "
Mo Rocca
Year
Team
One Day