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" Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society. "

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" Part of the secret of a success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside. "

" The Public is merely a multiplied 'me.' "

" A man who carries a cat by the tail learns something he can learn in no other way. "

" If the world comes to an end, I want to be in Cincinnati. Everything comes there ten years later. "

" Only one thing is impossible for God: To find any sense in any copyright law on the planet. "

" Few of us can stand prosperity. Another man's, I mean. "

" The difference between the almost right word and the right word is really a large matter - 'tis the difference between the lightning-bug and the lightning. "

" Martyrdom covers a multitude of sins. "

" Civilization is the limitless multiplication of unnecessary necessities. "

" We Americans... bear the ark of liberties of the world. "

" Laws control the lesser man... Right conduct controls the greater one. "

" I make it a rule never to smoke while I'm sleeping. "

" The trouble ain't that there is too many fools, but that the lightning ain't distributed right. "

" The Christian's Bible is a drug store. Its contents remain the same, but the medical practice changes. "

" Often it does seem such a pity that Noah and his party did not miss the boat. "

" It were not best that we should all think alike; it is difference of opinion that makes horse races. "

" Biographies are but the clothes and buttons of the man. The biography of the man himself cannot be written. "

" If you hold a cat by the tail you learn things you cannot learn any other way. "

" Action speaks louder than words but not nearly as often. "

" When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear. "

" The right word may be effective, but no word was ever as effective as a rightly timed pause. "

" When red-haired people are above a certain social grade their hair is auburn. "

" Prophesy is a good line of business, but it is full of risks. "

" Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured. "

" Loyalty to petrified opinion never yet broke a chain or freed a human soul. "

" Why shouldn't truth be stranger than fiction? Fiction, after all, has to make sense. "

" Don't say the old lady screamed. Bring her on and let her scream. "

" The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time. "

" A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval. "

" It ain't those parts of the Bible that I can't understand that bother me, it is the parts that I do understand. "