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" Often it does seem such a pity that Noah and his party did not miss the boat. "
Mark Twain
Pity
Party
Boat
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" Ideally a book would have no order to it, and the reader would have to discover his own. "
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" You can't depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus. "
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" Truth is mighty and will prevail. There is nothing wrong with this, except that it ain't so. "
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" Let us not be too particular; it is better to have old secondhand diamonds than none at all. "
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" My books are like water; those of the great geniuses are wine. (Fortunately) everybody drinks water. "
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" If it's your job to eat a frog, it's best to do it first thing in the morning. And If it's your job to eat two frogs, it's best to eat the biggest one first. "
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" Humor must not professedly teach and it must not professedly preach, but it must do both if it would live forever. "
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" When a person cannot deceive himself the chances are against his being able to deceive other people. "
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" Why shouldn't truth be stranger than fiction? Fiction, after all, has to make sense. "
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" Action speaks louder than words but not nearly as often. "
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" There is a charm about the forbidden that makes it unspeakably desirable. "
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" Grief can take care if itself, but to get the full value of a joy you must have somebody to divide it with. "
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" The wit knows that his place is at the tail of a procession. "
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" It is better to deserve honors and not have them than to have them and not deserve them. "
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Deserve
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" Repartee is something we think of twenty-four hours too late. "
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Something
" It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare. "
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" In the first place, God made idiots. That was for practice. Then he made school boards. "
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God
School
Place
" Do the right thing. It will gratify some people and astonish the rest. "
Mark Twain
People
Do The Right Thing
Right
" The lack of money is the root of all evil. "
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Money
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" Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits. "
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Other
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" Familiarity breeds contempt - and children. "
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Contempt
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" The more you explain it, the more I don't understand it. "
Mark Twain
Understand
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" Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example. "
Mark Twain
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" Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society. "
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Society
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" Denial ain't just a river in Egypt. "
Mark Twain
River
Just
Egypt
" Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter. "
Mark Twain
You
Over
Matter
" Only one thing is impossible for God: To find any sense in any copyright law on the planet. "
Mark Twain
Find
God
Sense
" It is better to take what does not belong to you than to let it lie around neglected. "
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Belong
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" Against the assault of laughter, nothing can stand. "
Mark Twain
Nothing
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