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" Diane Keaton is good for women in and of herself. She's smart and funny and real. "

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" I'm not saying that I'm on some crusade to change people's minds. I'm just doing what I do. I'm a comedian, I'm trying to be funny... I think when they see a comedy show with an Iranian and an Egyptian and two Palestinians, I think they go, 'Oh wow, these guys are just like us.' "

" The fascination of shooting as a sport depends almost wholly on whether you are at the right or wrong end of the gun. "

P. G. Wodehouse

" Movements are like rivers. Dipping into them is never the same twice. "

" I was sleeping the other night, alone, thanks to the exterminator. "

" I'm like old wine. They don't bring me out very often - but I'm well preserved. "

" TV is chewing gum for the eyes. "

Frank Lloyd Wright

" It's so funny because I listen to songs that I recorded that I didn't really know anything about at the time. Later on I'm starting to feel the songs. Sing them first, feel them later. "

" Who included me among the ranks of the human race? "

" I'm screamingly funny, you know, I really am in the books. And that helps because I'm funnier than a lot of people, I think, and that's appreciated by young people. "

" Mariah is a beautiful and talented person, and I've had a crush on her for as long as I can remember. Every day, my respect for Mariah continues to grow higher. She's a caring, warm and funny person. People have no idea how funny she is! I feel like I've always known she was my forever love. "

" If I read the word 'problematize' one more time, I'm going to vomit. "

" Who knew Rob Lowe was funny? On 'Parks and Rec,' we've got some of the funniest comedy writers, some of the funniest comedians in the world working there. And if anything, we don't just effuse to one another and be like, 'Oh, Rob Lowe's really funny,' if he wasn't. "

" There's a darkness under 'The Hangover' because ultimately there's a missing person and it's not really that funny. There's a sort of darkness under it that I love, and still people are laughing as hard if not harder than they did in 'Old School.' "

" If you're naturally kind, you attract a lot of people you don't like. "

William Feather

" I read a funny story about how the Republicans freed the slaves. The Republicans are the ones who created slavery by law in the 1600's. Abraham Lincoln freed the slaves and he was not a Republican. "

" Our records, if you have a dark sense of humor, were funny, but our records weren't about comedy. They were about protests, fantasy, confrontation and all that. "

" It's obviously funny to be a meme, so I could be down with it in that regard, but it also belittles one's art. "

" Is everything funny? For me, yes. There's a positive to every negative. Even my divorce? For me, yes. If you go back and look at it, why it happened or how it happened, there's something in there that'll make you laugh. "

" Funny things tend not to happen to me. I am not a natural comic. I need to think about things a lot before I can be even remotely amusing. "

" Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes. "

" When I eventually met Mr. Right I had no idea that his first name was Always. "

" A gender-equal society would be one where the word 'gender' does not exist: where everyone can be themselves. "

" Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who would want to live in an institution? "

" What do I know of man's destiny? I could tell you more about radishes. "

" If God wanted us to fly, He would have given us tickets. "

" With improv, it's a combination of listening and not trying to be funny. "

" We know that the nature of genius is to provide idiots with ideas twenty years later. "

" You know, what's funny to one person is not at all to someone else. "

" Female inferiority is internalised by us. Women need a lot more confidence. "

" Now a 'funnyman' can get a laugh before opening his mouth - looking funny. Lou Costello was one of your great funnymen. Harry Langdon, Larry Semon; they were all funnymen - they looked funny. W.C. Fields was never a comedian. Slim Summerville was a comedian, yet looked funny. Now if you have both attributes, you are in good shape. "