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" With improv, it's a combination of listening and not trying to be funny. "

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" I have tried to know absolutely nothing about a great many things, and I have succeeded fairly well. "

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" Everything I like is either illegal, immoral or fattening. "

Alexander Woollcott

" Being nice can be funny. A lot of my jokes are like, 'Let me take a bad situation and try to put the best spin on it.' "

" Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please. "

" I had to act in a school play when I was about ten years old. I really didn't want to do it. But everyone had to do it so I didn't have a choice. A talent agent came and watched it and later gave me some work. It's funny because I'd always known that I wanted a movie career. I just didn't think that I would be in the movies. "

Kristen Stewart

" There's a rule of writing: if everything is funny, nothing is funny; if everything is sad, nothing is sad. You want that contrast. "

J. Michael Straczynski

" I think it's funny to be delicate with subjects that are explosive. "

" Turns out you have a really fun time if you go to work every day and focus on being silly and funny and happy! "

" Some people say funny things, but I say things funny. "

" If a cluttered desk is the sign of a cluttered mind, what is the significance of a clean desk? "

Laurence J. Peter

" I can really stir up a conversation. Every time I go to a meeting or a casting, I try to make it as light and funny as I can. I'm always making really awkward jokes. You have to make life fun and not take it too seriously. I may look like I'm very serious and into my work, but if you knew me, I'm just a jokester. "

Charlotte McKinney

" I think since I was kid people told me that they thought I was funny. "

" Electricity is really just organized lightning. "

" Although I have guitars all around, and I pick them up occasionally and write a tune and make a record, I don't really see myself as a musician. It may seem a funny thing to say. It's just like, I write lyrics, and I make up songs, but I'm not a great lyricist or songwriter or producer. It's when you put all these things together - that makes me. "

George Harrison

" If you're public speaking, imagine yourself feeling confident; if you're nervous about a date and thinking, 'I'm gonna be a dork,' picture yourself being funny. Then it will be familiar to your brain. "

Lindsey Stirling

" I don't know if you can articulate an instinct. "

" The 'Billionaire' song is what my kids tease me with. They sing it to me. It's funny. "

" The inspiration for my Vines comes from thinking about funny and relatable experiences from my daily life. "

" I don't have a bank account because I don't know my mother's maiden name. "

Paula Poundstone

" I wasn't rich. "

" Isn't it funny how babies laugh a lot? I read a toddler, a young child laughs 300 times a day. The average adult laughs, like, four times a day. God put it in them. He put the laugh in us, but I think sometimes we let life get us down, you know, have bad breaks, and we lose our breaks. "

" I'm not funny. What I am is brave. "

" 'Dirty Rotten Scoundrels' is a good one because it not only turned out, I think, to be a really funny movie but it was also a delight to shoot. We were in the South of France, working with Glenne Headly and Michael Caine and Frank Oz the director - who were just fun. "

" I don't have a caustic sense of humor. What I find funny, that humor comes from a much gentler place. "

" I wanted to be that quirky girl who writes funny songs that still have meaning. "

" We are all here on earth to help others; what on earth the others are here for I don't know. "

" The men I idolized built their bodies and became somebody - like Sylvester Stallone and Arnold Schwarzenegger - and I thought, 'That can be me.' So I started working out. The funny thing is I didn't realize back then that I was having a defining moment. "

" I'm for whatever gets you through the night. "

" My mother was a very, very funny, outrageous, outspoken person, and she never edited me. Her whole thing in my life was if anybody had a problem with me, tell them to go to hell. "