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" Who included me among the ranks of the human race? "
Joseph Brodsky
Who
Human
Race
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" My life needs editing. "
Mort Sahl
My Life
Life
Funny
" I definitely started to perform a little bit in middle school, but not the typical musical/play route. I think that I am funny, but it was more of a social thing, where that was my part in my circle of friends. "
Abbi Jacobson
School
Think
Friends
" Progress is man's ability to complicate simplicity. "
Thor Heyerdahl
Funny
Simplicity
Man
" I like having a beard. What's funny is when you shave a beard, you realize how freezing cold your face is! The primary purpose evolution-wise is to keep you warm, to grow hair on your face. You shave it off, and your face is freezing for a few days. "
Adam Scott
Funny
Hair
Purpose
" The human brain is a funny thing: it's very susceptible to tempo and melody. You put the right words to it, and it becomes very influential. "
Ray Stevens
Brain
You
Words
" Funny is the world I live in. You're funny, I'm interested. You're not funny, I'm not interested. "
Jerry Seinfeld
World
Not Interested
Live
" Drawing on my fine command of the English language, I said nothing. "
Robert Benchley
Drawing
Funny
Nothing
" It's funny: the one time I got star-struck was when I met Snoop Dogg. I gave him a hug and said, 'I love you, man.' "
Mark Foster
I Love You
You
Time
" Funny is funny. I dare anyone to look at Tim Conway and Harvey Korman doing the dentist sketch, which is more than 40 years old, and not scream with laughter. "
Carol Burnett
Laughter
Funny
Doing
" But it's funny that now I'm in such a happy situation, I look more objectively at my own past and see what others have seen for a long time and I'm just so glad I've been able to get to this point. "
Rick Allen
Time
Past
Look
" If you're public speaking, imagine yourself feeling confident; if you're nervous about a date and thinking, 'I'm gonna be a dork,' picture yourself being funny. Then it will be familiar to your brain. "
Lindsey Stirling
Thinking
You
Brain
" If you're going to tell people the truth, be funny or they'll kill you. "
Billy Wilder
Going
Funny
You
" It's funny. You travel all over the world, and you wind up with a guy from your hometown. "
Patty Smyth
You
World
Wind
" Macho does not prove mucho. "
Zsa Zsa Gabor
Prove
Macho
Funny
" It's funny how you never think about the women you've had. It's always the ones who get away that you can't forget. "
Chuck Palahniuk
Women
Think
Always
" If I were to insult people and mean it, that wouldn't be funny. "
Don Rickles
Were
People
Mean
" It is well to read everything of something, and something of everything. "
Joseph Brodsky
Something
Well
Education
" Why don't you get a haircut? You look like a chrysanthemum. "
P. G. Wodehouse
Why
Look
You
" When I'm on stage, it's really intense. My mind is going a million miles an hour, trying to remember my act, trying to say it all the right way. It's funny how different it looks and how it's happening. There are three Fellini circuses in my head, and outwardly it looks like I'm going to get a bagel. "
Steven Wright
Mind
Remember
Three
" I remember straightening my hair because I wanted to be like everybody else, and now the fact that anybody would emulate what I do? It's just funny. "
Taylor Swift
Now
Like
Hair
" We're a phenomenally snobby society, and it's such a rich seam. The middle class is so funny: it's the class I know best, and it's the class where you find the most pretension, so that's what makes the middle classes so funny. "
J. K. Rowling
You
Rich
Know
" Keep your sense of humor, my friend; if you don't have a sense of humor it just isn't funny anymore. "
Wavy Gravy
Friend
Keep
You
" I don't care whether people say, ''The Office' is rubbish, 'Extras' is worse, 'Flanimals' is a waste of time. He's not funny; he never has been. I hate him.' I don't mind that at all. In fact, not only do I expect it, I celebrate it, because I think the haters are really important. "
Ricky Gervais
Time
People
Think
" Moderation is a virtue only in those who are thought to have an alternative. "
Henry Kissinger
Thought
Funny
Only
" The reward of energy, enterprise and thrift is taxes. "
William Feather
Reward
Thrift
Funny
" Miami Beach is where neon goes to die. "
Lenny Bruce
Beach
Where
Miami
" It's funny how a chubby kid can just be having fun, and people call it entertainment! "
Garth Brooks
Funny
Fun
People
" Often, joking for me is a way of diffusing the awkwardness of a situation, so it's kind of exhilarating to be a part of projects where there's nothing funny or lighthearted. "
Emma Stone
Way
Funny
Kind
" It's really irritating. Even people who like my work sometimes come up to me and say, 'I usually don't like female comedians, but your material is great!' It makes the job prospect more daunting. Funny is funny, you know? "
Chelsea Peretti
Funny
Work
People
" To me, wealth is the peace of mind you have, your family, your friends, your colleagues. Everything else is just money, and it really is funny how people pay so much attention to that. "
Ricardo Salinas Pliego
Family
Money
Peace