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" We know that the nature of genius is to provide idiots with ideas twenty years later. "

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" As I get older, all sorts of things become less funny. Once one has children, any cruelty involving children becomes far less amusing than when one was at the mercy of one's friends' and relatives' children. "

" 'Danger Girl' can be ridiculous, but sometimes it's funny. "

" People say that life is the thing, but I prefer reading. "

Logan Pearsall Smith

" Sometimes I'm really funny, sometimes I'm quiet, sometimes I'm shy, but I'm constantly changing. "

" There are a lot of really funny guys who are very natural in what they do: Jonah Hill, Michael Cera, Seth Rogen. "

" But it's funny that now I'm in such a happy situation, I look more objectively at my own past and see what others have seen for a long time and I'm just so glad I've been able to get to this point. "

" Miami Beach is where neon goes to die. "

" Inappropriateness is funny to me. Rudeness is hilarious. "

Zach Galifianakis

" Comedy is surprises, so if you're intending to make somebody laugh and they don't laugh, that's funny. "

" My life needs editing. "

" I have found that people who really want to work at 'Saturday Night Live' and pursue it get pretty close. You have to be funny - but everyone who works there, it was their dream to work there. So it's kind of nice in that way - there's a lot of people who say, 'I just always wanted to do this, and now I'm doing it.' "

" Fencing is a funny sport. Competitive fencing is not really very applicable to the stage world unless you're fighting with a rapier during the Renaissance, you know? "

Kris Holden-Ried

" A lot of newspaper columns used to be written in a rat-a-tat-tat, fast-paced style - and they tended to be funny. They were a little relief from the grimmer, grayer parts of the newspaper, and one of the best people at doing this was Will Rogers. "

" 'Dirty Rotten Scoundrels' is a good one because it not only turned out, I think, to be a really funny movie but it was also a delight to shoot. We were in the South of France, working with Glenne Headly and Michael Caine and Frank Oz the director - who were just fun. "

" My favorite type of pet has always been a dog. They're loyal, kind, and offer endless affection. My friend Eric says, 'The more people I meet, the more I like my dog.' Funny thought. "

" The IRS! They're like the Mafia, they can take anything they want! "

" I sang in the choir for years, even though my family belonged to another church. "

" I'm quite sarcastic, and I'm funny, but not kind of funny. It's a weird funny, and some people don't get me, and some people do. "

Millie Bobby Brown

" I love to go to Washington - if only to be near my money. "

" I quit therapy because my analyst was trying to help me behind my back. "

" Children are smarter than any of us. Know how I know that? I don't know one child with a full time job and children. "

" My mother is very funny. She is from a village; she has a typical village kind of humour. Often she says a lot of things she herself isn't aware is a punch line. "

" I buy expensive suits. They just look cheap on me. "

" Television has brought back murder into the home - where it belongs. "

Alfred Hitchcock

" Even Napoleon had his Watergate. "

" Fame is a funny thing. I like doing normal things. I like going to fairs. I like going to ball games. I like going to Disney World or a big field on the Fourth of July and having picnics with friends. The problem is you're either worried you're going to be recognized, or you're thankful you're not. It's always there. "

" I got a lot of support from my parents. That's the one thing I always appreciated. They didn't tell me I was being stupid; they told me I was being funny. "

" Things have to be funny first, and if they want to have a point, that's awesome. "

" When you're out of sight for as long as I was, there's a funny feeling of betrayal that comes over people when they see you again. "

Esther Williams

" I am the shortest and least funny person in my family. "

Heather Donahue