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" Our records, if you have a dark sense of humor, were funny, but our records weren't about comedy. They were about protests, fantasy, confrontation and all that. "

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" If my mother hadn't laughed at the funny things I did, I probably wouldn't be a comic actor. After she had her first heart attack, the doctor said, 'Try to make her laugh.' And that was the first time I tried to make anyone laugh. "

Gene Wilder

Doctor

Time

She

" I don't believe in angels, no. But I do have a wee parking angel. It's on my dashboard and you wind it up. The wings flap and it's supposed to give you a parking space. It's worked so far. "

" I'm spending a year dead for tax reasons. "

" Back in the '70s, like one of my favorite movies ever was 'The Bad News Bears', and that was a kids' movie, but I don't think of it that way. I think of it as just a great movie because Walter Matthau was so funny and so harsh with those kids. "

" I have found that people who really want to work at 'Saturday Night Live' and pursue it get pretty close. You have to be funny - but everyone who works there, it was their dream to work there. So it's kind of nice in that way - there's a lot of people who say, 'I just always wanted to do this, and now I'm doing it.' "

" Never put a sock in a toaster. "

" During the Great Depression, when people laughed their worries disappeared. Audiences loved these funny men. I decided to become one. "

" Justice Scalia and I served together on the D.C. Circuit. So his votes are not surprising to me. What I like about him is that he's very funny and very smart. "

" I'm a fan of the old 'Creature Features' like 'Critters,' and 'Gremlins' and 'Tremors.' 'Jaws' is classic. It's funny that I still like those films because I remember my mom would tease me about getting a pet Critter to keep under my bed. "

" The first time I sang in the church choir; two hundred people changed their religion. "

" When you're eight years old nothing is your business. "

" Conversation would be vastly improved by the constant use of four simple words: I do not know. "

" The inspiration for my Vines comes from thinking about funny and relatable experiences from my daily life. "

" Let's make some funny pictures. "

" It's obviously funny to be a meme, so I could be down with it in that regard, but it also belittles one's art. "

" I believe in rules. Sure I do. If there weren't any rules, how could you break them? "

" I can resist everything except temptation. "

" Weather forecast for tonight: dark. "

" To label me an intellectual is a misunderstanding of what that is. "

Dick Cavett

Misunderstanding

Label

" Diane Keaton is good for women in and of herself. She's smart and funny and real. "

" It is easy for me to love myself, but for ladies to do it is another question altogether. "

Johnny Vegas

Question

Love

" A funny thing happens in real estate. When it comes back, it comes back up like gangbusters. "

" Moderation is a virtue only in those who are thought to have an alternative. "

" All I've wanted to be is someone people look up to. It's funny - everyone says I'm controversial. I've never worked out what it is about me that's controversial. I've never had a DUI; I've never been in a brawl; you've never seen photos of me walking out of clubs at 5 A.M. "

" All you have in comedy, in general, is just going with your instincts. You can only hope that other people think that what you think is funny is funny. I don't have an answer but I just try to plough straight ahead. "

" A two-year-old is kind of like having a blender, but you don't have a top for it. "

" There's a difference between being a comic and a comedian. A comic is a guy who says funny things, and a comedian is a guy who says things funny, and he has a style and point of view that will last much longer. "

" When I was young, I'd watch guys on 'The Tonight Show', Buddy Hackett, guys like that, where all they'd be is funny. Later, I remember, on 'Late Night with Letterman', I remember he'd have Jay Leno and Richard Lewis as first guests and the entire point was to entertain and be funny, and I think talk shows have kind of lost that. "

" My definition of an intellectual is someone who can listen to the William Tell Overture without thinking of the Lone Ranger. "

" I discovered that funny animal pictures - memes - would get a lot of likes and shares. "