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" You have to really want it, and don't take it personally if you don't get a job. Because sometimes you're not the type. And sometimes it's somebody else's turn. "

Carol Burnett

Turn

Sometimes

Want

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" I liked myself better when I wasn't me. "

Carol Burnett

Liked

Myself

" I very much enjoyed doing 'Law & Order,' playing a killer - that was fun, and they had a family feel around the set, so it was a happy show to do even though the subject matter was quite the opposite. "

" But I don't begrudge anybody, because I know how hard it is to have that dream and to make it happen, whether or not it's just to put a roof over your head and food on the table. "

" I am not a person who yells at all, but I realized that I have always felt so good after doing the Tarzan yell, after doing Charo, or screaming as Eunice. "

" Comedy is tragedy - plus time. "

" We don't stop going to school when we graduate. "

" You know, one wonderful thing that came out of my Enquirer experience is that, in my case, it was ruled tabloids are magazines. Which means they didn't have the protection that a newspaper has. "

" My favourite comedian, of course, is Tim Conway. He has a way about him - being that belly-laugh kind of funny, and he has the improvisational skills, too. I've never seen anybody better. "

" I was raised going to the movies with my grandmother as a kid. And then I'd come home, and my best friend and I would act out the films that we saw. "

" I had always been quiet and studious in school. I was the high school editor of the newspaper. "

" We all get where we're going by circuitous journeys, and some of the setbacks are warranted. "

" I was very entertained by Betty Grable and Judy Garland. "

" I love 'Modern Family.' And I love 'Glee' - the singing, the music - Jane Lynch just kills me. "

" When you have a dream, you've got to grab it and never let go. "

" I eat very well, and I do Pilates. "

" When I went to New York to try and make it, I never thought it wouldn't happen. "

" Edgy is fine - I'm not a prude by any stretch of the imagination - but what's wrong with a good ol' belly laugh? I miss that. "

" My mother was very funny. My dad had a great sense of humor. My grandmother, too. "

" Adolescence is just one big walking pimple. "

" My grandmother and I would go see movies, and we'd come back to the apartment - we had a one-room apartment in Hollywood - and I would kind of lock myself in this little dressing room area with a cracked mirror on the door and act out what I had just seen. "

" I'm really not that funny in real life! But I am the best audience one could find. I love to laugh. "

" I had it in my contract with CBS, a very weird clause that was never written before and certainly not since, that if I wanted to do a variety show within the first five years of the contract, CBS would have to put it on for 30 shows. "

" I had a good loud voice and I wasn't afraid to be goofy or zany. "

" I don't watch sitcoms. I really don't. My problem with them is they take so long to film them that there's no spontaneity. I want to see that. "

" In '57, I got a job at the Blue Angel nightclub, and a gentleman named Ken Welch wrote all my material for me. I lived at a place called the Rehearsal Club that was actually the basis for a play called Stage Door. "

Carol Burnett

Gentleman

Job

" My preference is for people who can do sketch comedy or situational comedy, where it's not a joke, but it's telling a story. "

" I don't have false teeth. Do you think I'd buy teeth like these? "

Carol Burnett

False

You

" I do think there are some great female comics: Tina Fey, Amy Poehler, Kristen Wiig, Maya Rudolph. They're the whole ball of wax. "

" Funny is funny. I dare anyone to look at Tim Conway and Harvey Korman doing the dentist sketch, which is more than 40 years old, and not scream with laughter. "

" I do the 'New York Times' crossword puzzle every morning to keep the old grey matter ticking. "