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" There are some people so addicted to exaggeration that they can't tell the truth without lying. "

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" In youth we run into difficulties. In old age difficulties run into us. "

" The trouble with people is not that they don't know but that they know so much that ain't so. "

" There are people who are always anticipating trouble, and in this way they manage to enjoy many sorrows that never really happen to them. "

" Learning sleeps and snores in libraries, but wisdom is everywhere, wide awake, on tiptoe. "

" About the most originality that any writer can hope to achieve honestly is to steal with good judgment. "

" One of the best temporary cures for pride and affectation is seasickness; a man who wants to vomit never puts on airs. "

" I have lived in this world just long enough to look carefully the second time into things that I am most certain of the first time. "

" Love is said to be blind, but I know some fellows in love who can see twice as much in their sweethearts as I do. "

" Genius ain't anything more than elegant common sense. "

" There is no greater evidence of superior intelligence than to be surprised at nothing. "

" It is much easier to repent of sins that we have committed than to repent of those that we intend to commit. "

" There's a great power in words, if you don't hitch too many of them together. "

" The road to ruin is always in good repair, and the travellers pay the expense of it. "

" The thinner the ice, the more anxious is everyone to see whether it will bear. "

" There is nothing so easy to learn as experience and nothing so hard to apply. "

" If a man should happen to reach perfection in this world, he would have to die immediately to enjoy himself. "

" Adversity has the same effect on a man that severe training has on the pugilist: it reduces him to his fighting weight. "

" Men mourn for what they have lost; women for what they ain't got. "

" Economy is a savings-bank, into which men drop pennies, and get dollars in return. "

" Take all the fools out of this world and there wouldn't be any fun living in it, or profit. "

" As a general thing, when a woman wears the pants in a family, she has a good right to them. "

" I have never known a person to live to be one hundred and be remarkable for anything else. "

" One of the rarest things that a man ever does, is to do the best he can. "

" Life is short, but it's long enough to ruin any man who wants to be ruined. "

" The best time for you to hold your tongue is the time you feel you must say something or bust. "

" Reason often makes mistakes, but conscience never does. "

" When a man comes to me for advice, I find out the kind of advice he wants, and I give it to him. "

" A puppy plays with every pup he meets, but an old dog has few associates. "

" Marrying for love may be a bit risky, but it is so honest that God can't help but smile on it. "

" Knowledge is like money: the more he gets, the more he craves. "