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" I'm just glad I can make a difference in someone's life. "

Make A Difference

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" Unfortunately, the American justice system is just riddled with lies and inconsistencies. "

" Well, I started out as a musician, so when I was about 10 years old, I was already in a band. "

" Comedy is the ultimate truth. Jazz is hitting the notes that that no one else would hit, and comedy is saying words that no one else would say. "

" Once you're a felon you're a target. "

" There's a hierarchy in prison, and I was right at the top. "

" Religion is run by thought police. 'Obey. Listen. This is what you do. Don't ask questions. Go die for your country.' The spirituality says, 'Okay, you can die for your country, but know what you're doing while you're doing it.' "

" Maybe once in a while, you know, after a hard day of shooting or something like that, I'd kick back. "

" The thing is about Cheech & Chong, we've brought more families together than Dr. Phil. "

" The way jazz works is that we take a theme, and then we write using the same structure, same chord changes, and then we can do different tunes. "

" I was about sixteen when I discovered that music could get you laid, so I got into music boy, didn't matter what you looked like either, you could be a geeky looking guy but if you played music, whoa, you'd get the girls. "

" I've always been into improvisation. "

" A lot of prophets have gone to jail. "

" Jail was probably the most exciting thing that's ever happened to me. "

" When you hit a groove, it's not you; it's the spirit world. The spirits whisper the ideas in your brain and prod you along. They're the ones that are really happy. "

" I know, because I tried all sorts of ways of being in character, and the best way is to be totally straight. "

" They just wanted to show the entertainment world that we're vulnerable. "

" I used to joke for years that I was a black man. I adopted the black culture, the black race. I married a black woman, and I had black kids. I always considered myself a 'brother.' "

" I'm a hybrid. "

" No. Maceo played sax, didn't he, well they used to sit in. "

" The smartest billionaires I know never finished high school. I got my degree and my doctorate on the street and an advanced degree in jail. "

" I never did smoke that much pot; never was a big pothead. "

" When they put me in jail, that's when they turned me into an activist. Up until the time I went to jail, I was just a comedian. "

" If I don't get paid I'm going to take a whole lot of Marshall amps home with me on the plane. "

" You look at Cheney, Rumsfeld, Karl Rove, and Bush - if you saw them on Halloween, they wouldn't need a costume. You'd give them a treat and compliment them on what great-looking demons they were. They are demons. There's no doubt about it. "

" Any excuse to live in New York and do art. Has to be one of the most rewarding experiences in the world. "

" Music has always been a big part of Cheech & Chong's career, so it's just natural. You know, I was a musician before I met Cheech and had a record with Motown, and so I've got the cred. "

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" The Shades never recorded anything, Little Daddy and the Bachelors recorded a couple of records, ya. "