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" I love kids, but they are a tough audience. "
Robin Williams
Audience
I Love
Kids
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" Do I perform sometimes in a manic style? Yes. Am I manic all the time? No. Do I get sad? Oh yeah. Does it hit me hard? Oh yeah. "
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" Having George W. Bush giving a lecture on business ethics is like having a leper give you a facial, it just doesn't work! "
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" I loved running, but all of a sudden everything hurt so much. I started cycling when Zelda was born. "
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" Reality: What a concept! "
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" I don't have a college degree, and my father didn't have a college degree, so when my son, Zachary, graduated from college, I said, 'My boy's got learnin'!' "
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" Acting is different from stand-up. It gives you this ability to enter into another character, to create another person. "
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" I'm much more open to being a supporting actor right now. At the age of 60, I'll be second fiddle. Fine. I'm happy to do it. "
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" We've had cloning in the South for years. It's called cousins. "
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" When you look at Prince Charles, don't you think that someone in the Royal family knew someone in the Royal family? "
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" Spring is nature's way of saying, 'Let's party!' "
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" People say satire is dead. It's not dead; it's alive and living in the White House. "
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" Sometimes you have to make a movie to make money. "
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" I like my wine like my women - ready to pass out. "
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" Canada is like a loft apartment over a really great party. "
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" I met Nelson Mandela, and I really didn't know what to say. It was years ago at a benefit. I was just in awe of this man because of what he'd done. "
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" Winning an Oscar is an honor, but, between you and me, it does not makes things easier. "
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" There's a show in America where all these people compete with ferrets, and they don't even do anything. They basically just hold them up, and if they don't bite you, they might win. "
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" Reality is just a crutch for people who can't cope with drugs. "
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Reality
" A lot of vets like 'Good Morning Vietnam' - I get great letters from guys. "
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Good
" The 'Aladdin' thing - that's not work; that's just fun. Three days in the recording studio going mad, then the animators do all the work. Not a bad way to cash a large check, my friend. "
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Friend
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Three
" Divorce is expensive. I used to joke they were going to call it 'all the money,' but they changed it to 'alimony.' It's ripping your heart out through your wallet. "
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Joke
Money
Used
" If women ran the world we wouldn't have wars, just intense negotiations every 28 days. "
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Funny
Women
Just
" Gentiles are people who eat mayonnaise for no reason. "
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Eat
Reason
People
" In the process of looking for comedy, you have to be deeply honest. And in doing that, you'll find out here's the other side. You'll be looking under the rock occasionally for the laughter. "
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Process
You
Laughter
" You'll notice that Nancy Reagan never drinks water when Ronnie speaks. "
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" I basically started performing for my mother, going, 'Love me!' What drives you to perform is the need for that primal connection. When I was little, my mother was funny with me, and I started to be charming and funny for her, and I learned that by being entertaining, you make a connection with another person. "
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" I enjoy performing for heavily armed people. It's easier than going to Georgia. "
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" Carpe per diem - seize the check. "
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